Nal's Mudhal Payanam - Part 3

Day Three - Vaideeswaram

Yet another temple town, Vaideeswaram is the “olai chuvadi” capital of the world. Using an ancient text to tell your history as well as your future, these guys belong to a special clan that has safeguarded these texts for 1000s of years. These texts, written on palm leaves, used a kind of archaic Tamil script that only people in that clan can still read. So they make quite a killing reading these texts to people who either want to know their history, or their future.

If you remember, the point of my trip was to trace my history, so we went to one of these guy to see if he could shed some light on my ancestors. Finding him was hard because there was literally a whole street of these guys in Vaideeswaram, all claming to be the original. (Sounds a bit like the whole Papa Roti thing, doesn’t it?) But in the end, a call to my dad’s friend Rajendran solved the problem. It helps to have friends in high places.


Outside Vaideeswaram temple, we were swamped by the ubiquitious pest of India – beggars. They hang around the temple hoping people’s piety will move them to pity. I was warned sternly by Malar and John NOT to give them money. They said, if you really want, you can give them food – biscuits or buns – but chances are they will reject it. Apparently most of them belong to a syndicate that feeds them, but makes them beg for their keep.


I had to test it out. I had bought some packets of food (prasadam) from the temple, which I didn’t want to eat. I offered it to this beggar lady with 2 children, but she refused to take it and kept asking me for money instead. Now, if I was a mother with 2 hungry children, I would take any food that comes my way, especially when it’s still piping hot.

Lesson learned.


Vaideeswaram is a small town, well supported by the astrology business. But there really wasn’t much else to do there. So after we got all the footage we needed, we left and headed for Pondicherry for dinner and the long drive back to Chennai.


We reached the ultra comfortable Raj Palace Hotel at about 9:30 on Sunday night. With the most strenuous part of the shoot behind us, we could relax, enjoy a good dinner (Chicken fried rice washed down with several gimlets), and entertain each other with horror stories from the media industry. I found out that John was the CEO for a cable channel called SS music, before life on the road called him back to sound engineering.


And Malar has worked in almost every major city in India and South East Asia, including Singapore, where he holds an employment pass.

Day Four – Chennai


Finally, the last day of shooting. All the shoots today are in Chennai, so we had a little bit of time for some shopping in the evening. But before that, I got to experience the colour and vibrancy of what is touted to be now the best Indian city to live in.


Beggars, cows and pollution. I didn’t really find any of these a problem. I don’t know if I just looked unapproachable or what, but there weren’t a lot of encounters with beggars in Chennai. I saw more beggars in the small towns, strangely enough, just outside temples. There were still street and slum dwellers, in rags, and with children in throngs around them, but they seem to be gainfully employed. I was glad to see that.


The ubiquitious cows were everywhere, but they were quite grazing in little grassy alcoves, rather than obstructing traffic or terrifying hapless tourists (aka me). It just wouldn’t be India without the cows.

As for pollution, I noticed something really interesting. Women would sweep their houses clean of dust and debris, then gather the said pile of dust and dump it just outside their houses, where the wind will blow it in again during the course of the day.


A lot of the rubbish is also organic. Indians use natural resources a lot more than we do here – banana leaves instead of paper plates, palm leaf baskets instead plastic bags and cow dung instead of pesticides. Yes, there are plastic bottles, cans and other man made rubbish as well, but for city as large as Chennai is, they must either have a lot less trash or much more efficient waste disposal teams. But there is no doubt that India is the original recycling society. People save and reuse everything, which is really admirable.

I felt that politics and cinema drive the city more than then many temples, spiritual gurus and ancient texts and books. Everywhere you look, they are posters of political luminaries. Actors endorse everything from Aircel mobile networks to pumps for agricultural use. And the people are such big fans of some of the actors, that apparently in the cinema the film reel operator has to stop the reel in order to accommodate the whistling and celebrating that goes on once the hero appears. I wish I had time to have experienced this, but sadly, it didn’t happen. But the next time I surely will.

Chennai has been an eye opener. The memory I had of the city I visited 17 years ago remains an old and distance memory, the way you remember your grandma when you were 5. As I have grown, Chennai has grown along with me, infinite in beauty, wisdom and grace. This is not to say that it’s perfect, no place is, but its faults have been exaggerated more than its virtues. The people are gentle and hospitable, I wasn’t eve-teased, rubbed up against or even gawked at even once. The food is amazing, with enough variety to keep foodies like me happy for a long time.

My heart is full. I am so glad I came. Chennai, you have a part of my heart, and you will see me again.

Nal's Mudhal Payanam - Part 2

Day Two – Sirkazhi


After a quick and excellent breakfast of thosai and the best tea I have ever had, we set out for Sirkazhi, the town my great grandfather came from. I was supposed to meet my dad’s friend, Rajendran who lives there. He in turn helped me to find all the possible connections to my dad’s family. If not for him, I would probably still be there, looking for my roots.



We went to the house of this old priest of the local temple, who was said to remember my great grandfather. This man was 95 years old, and still had a memory that was sharp as a knife. He is retired from his priestly duties, but lives with his daughter’s family in the same house he had lived in since he was born.

I was excited to visit the house, because:
1) it would be my first visit into a village house, and
2) my first visit to a orthodox Brahmin house.

I tried to remember all the “rules” of orthodoxy regarding visiting a Brahmin household. I am glad to say none of them were true. They welcomed us with kindness, offered us a place to sit on a bench, and some ice cold water to drink.


(A short note on drinking water in India. I was told NEVER to drink the tap water. The crew bought many bottles of mineral water and an ice cooler, so we were well watered throughout the journey. But, when you go to someone’s house, and all they have is water, from the tap, how to say no without being rude? The last thing I want is to be remembered as the uppity Singapore girl who won’t even wet her lips in our house. So I drank their water when it was offered. I said a blessing over it, and drank whole heartedly. And didn’t suffer so much as a stomach ache from it. )


The house looked exactly like the kind you see in Tamil movies. A U shaped covered house with a small open air courtyard in the middle, where they had the Tulasi tree and the water pump. In the back, there is a well and a general washing area. These people were considered affluent because they had electricity, running water, and a fridge. The floors were cement and the walls brick. The roof was wood and attap, and kept the house cool and comfortable. 6 people lived in that house, which is the size of my living room. Amazing. With no separate rooms for married couples, how on earth did they make 2 children. The mind boggles.


The next house I visited was the one my great grandfather built. It has been around for about 100 years and is based on the same U shaped with courtyard plan. My uncle and aunty who still live there have electricity, but no fridge, and no running water. And my uncle works in a bank!

Meeting my relatives was an experience in itself and I will leave it to the show to tell the story. But walking into the house that I could have been born in was overwhelming. I can describe it adequately, and won’t even try.


Night Two – Chidambaram

Since Sirkazhi is such a small town, they don’t have any hotels that will fulfil the creature comforts stipulated by the crew. So we spent the night in Chidambaram, a slightly larger temple town that was a 2 hour drive away. I was so exhausted – drained physically by the 8 hour shoot in the broiling sun and emotionally by meeting my relatives – that I took a shower and went straight to bed. It’s only the next morning that I realized that the hotel we stayed at was called the Raffles Hotel! The irony was not lost on me. I’m not complaining because it had a clean bed and aircon, which is all I needed, but they were little short on the marble flooring and jazz quarter, what.

The hotel also did not have room service, so the guys had to go out to get some take away food. One of the things I really enjoyed about this trip was that I was with a bunch of people who were serious meat eaters like me. Which is really good because India has very good non-vegetarian cusine offer. The meat is usually fresh, not frozen, so it tastes different and absorbs the flavours of the spices better.

Now, I know a lot of you are frowning because you think I did something stupid and dangerous, but for the record, I did not get any digestive disorders while I was in India. No Delhi belly, nothing. 2 out of 3 meals were non-vegetarian. For breakfast, we went to a veg restaurant, but only because breakfast foods like thosai and idly are much better there.


If I have any complains about India, it’s this. The sun rises really early in the morning. By about 5:45 a.m., it is peeking into my room. Being used to waking at dawn in Singapore (6:30a.m.), I was like WTH when I found myself rising at 5:30 or so. So from then till my actual wake up call (8:00), it was my time with the wonders of Indian television. I was pleasantly surprised to find a TV channel dedicated to Christian programming – songs, sermons and services – in both Tamil and English. Belonging to a secular state like Singapore, it came as quite a treat, really.

Nal's Mudhal Payanam - Part 1

Itinerary

Day 1 – Chennai to Pondicherry
Day 2 – Pondicherry to Sirkazhi
Day 3 – Sirkazhi to Vaideeswaram
Day 4 – Vaideeswaram to Chennai
Day 5 - Singapore

They also building MRT.

Day One

I landed in Chennai airport at 10 a.m. and already the heat was searing through my skin. It was Agni Natchathiram, the hottest day in the year, although I didn’t know that at the time.

Good thing Kannan, the Assistant Director from Verite Productions was there with an air conditioned Chevrolet, so I didn’t suffer too long in the heat. It did make me think about how the people who cannot afford air conditioning survive this season.

We went to Raj Palace Hotel where I met the rest of the crew – Hameed, who of course I know from poly days, Malarvannan, the cameraman , and John Fernandez, the sound guy. Both Malar and John are Chennai natives (Chennaivites? Chennaaiwals?) , although they have both travelled the world extensively as professionals in their field. My episode of Mudhal Payanam was in good hands.

Before heading out of the city, we stopped for lunch – at Liu’s Chinese Cuisine. The two Singaporean guys, Kannan and Hameed were tired of eating Indian food and were dying for a change in palate, and this was their last chance to get some Chinese food before we headed for the rural countryside. So my first meal in India was steamed Thai rice, sweet and sour pork, chili beef and chap chai! Go figure eh.

At about 4:30, we headed out of Chennai further south toward Pondicherry. On our way out, we saw busloads of people with strange black and red flags on the windows coming into the city. Apparently some minister was getting honoured for 50 years of active political career, so the prime minister and president of India were coming down to some meeting to felicitate him. His followers also took it at a personal invitation and descended on Chennai in their thousands. Malar said it’s good thing we were leaving for a few days, because just the traffic snarls would tie up any travel plans for a while.

Even on the other side of the road, we were moving at a snail’s pace, because the more important followers of that minister were allowed to drive on the opposite side, towards oncoming traffic. Our driver Kumar played chicken so many times, I stopped counting. I just know that by the time my journey ended, I had almost broken the hand grip in the car.

Traffic rules are more of a suggestion than the law here.

Night One – Pondicherry

Being on a road trip like this one, it’s impossible to tell where we are going to be when night falls. Therefore making hotel reservations was out of the question. Therefore 2 hours of our night in Pondicherry was spent driving around, looking for a hotel to stay. Most hotels were full for two reasons – 1) Pondicherry is a kind of a party town where young Chennai natives go for a wild weekend of drinking and partying and 2) Because of the political meeting, even more people decided to leave the city and Pondi is the nearest destination.

Tons of buses streaming into the city for the political event.

By 9:30, we still hadn’t got a room and I was beginning to panic. I know how Mary and Joseph felt, not that I was about to have a baby, but the part of being tired and stopping at every inn and not finding room to rest. Finally Malar called one of his friends, who told us to try a place called Shanti Inn. It was on a street that we had already driven by twice, but we didn’t see it because at the street level, you only see the door. The rest of the hotel is on the 2nd – 5th floors. The rooms were clean and air conditioned, the bathroom looked recently washed and the bed was comfortable. We decided to stay.

Pondicherry Cop. Still in French inspired uniforms.

Dinner was room service, although no one had much of an appetite from all that traveling. Ok, honestly, that was not the reason. Pondicherry is apparently some kind of tax haven for alcohol. A bottle of Smirnoff vodka only cost SGD$16. So everyone decided to camp out in my room and have a few bottles of the stuff, “to help to relax”. They were so relaxed, I had a hard time kicking them out, because I wanted to sleep. Tomorrow we go to Sirkazhi, a big day for me. I needed to sleep.

First Indian India meal.

Before I end this post, a word about Indian TV. Firstly, I love the fact that every channel has people who look just like me – beautiful Indian girls endorsing products in ads and good looking men reading the news. And the ads are really a lot more creative and sometimes risqué then what we get in Singapore. There is this one ad where the opening sequence is a medium shot of a woman, waist up, squatting on something and bouncing up and down with her eyes closed. The next shot is a long shot of her rinsing out the pair of pants she had just washed by hand, and turning to show it to the camera. It was an ad for washing soap.

And these people had a problem with Richard Gere kissing Shilpa Shetty? What the…?

Sex and nudity is not really an issue in India. People are bathing in public places all the time, the men wearing a little less than a thong and the women a sheer sari or cloth that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. The problem was probably that Richard was an old geezer, kissing a young nubile woman. Yeah, I think that was probably it.

Equal Employment

A KLKallout from Shaheen via e-mail:

Dear all,

All of you have always complained of inequality, injustice, racism, lack of democracy, lack of freedom of speech and expression. Well, here is a golden opportunity to shout and scream out loud and demand the fairness you as positive, constructive, moral, law-abiding and righteous citizens deserve. They have allocated 30 mins on national radio (read below). Its a scratch. To just merely make this scratch however, a lot of effort, struggle, sacrifice and pain has been confronted on the parts of those who have earned this much discussion on a sensitive issue indeed to say the least in our great Republic.

Now I dare each of you to make your voices heard. If you don't make your voices heard now, this issue will die down for another 42 years, perhaps so that your children and their children will suffer a fate likely worse than you have suffered in terms of discrimination, inequality and denial of equity: Voices on radio . A new set of guidelines on fair employment practices was announced earlier this month, but critics have called for these suggestions to be made mandatory, rather than leave it up to employers to enforce. In the past week, readers have chimed in that legislation has been implemented in other areas to great effect, namely against littering and chewing gum, so why not one on fair employment?

Tune in to 938LIVE's Talkback from 8.15am to 8.45am tomorrow for a debate on the issue highlighted in Today. Call 6691 1938 to share your views

Call them up and let them know we want legislation, we want a law against unfair employment practices. May God be with us.

Search It

It's quite amazing how netizens actually chance upon us. The great game of randomness. These were some search terms that got them here a few days back.


But of course, the original KLKillahs generated a tad more search hits. Example:

In other news, the great nemesis Analyze KLKillahs has since died-ed. 5 posts in 2 days. And then we're stil waiting for his 7 cents worth 12 days on. Clock is ticking.

Nal, has also just departed to start filming her Mudhal Payanam episode. We wish her to be safe and possibly find out why appalams were named appalams. Lifted off her page:

I am writing this from the free internet terminals in Changi Airport. Check in was really smooth cos they had a special express lane for individual travellers. There were about 400 tour groups, all looking haggard, tired and carrying everything from rice cookers to small TVs.

In about 10 Mins we get to board the plane and then, the adventure begins!

catch u later!

Irate Mango Makkeh

My dear readers,

I must admit being a little confused at the understanding that some Indians have, with regards to their imaginary 'divine right' to bully hapless customer service personnel, especially if said customer personnel are Indian themselves.

Now I am not going to leave this statement hanging in the air like forgotten laundry, but rather highlight to you my encounter with one of these individuals. I think that my poor ears are bleeding from the encounter.

This lovely Gentleman calls me, and then proceeds to launch a complaint against one of my company's employees. Since my company is a big one, and I was hearing his complaint FOR THE FIRST TIME, I was naturally unable to give him a detailed outcome and action taken against said employee. When the conversation began, it was all polite and nice, when my name was revealed, the excrement well and truly hit the fan.

When I tried to highlight to Mr. Irate Gentleman that we will need some time to investigate the incident, he had the temerity to scream at me and accuse me of poor customer service. When his first tirade was over, I reiterated that we need to investigate the feedback. He then launches another tirade. His constant mention of my name, and my awareness of his name made the whole incident very unpleasant.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but as I perceive this whole matter, which after some time had degenerated into nasty name calling and threats, he was just excercising his 'divine right' to bully me because I was an Indian. After all, the phone conversation took a headlong plunge down the drain after I gave him my full name.

This is hardly the first time I have recieved rude behaviour from fellow Indian complainents once it is revealed that I'm Indian.

I think I missed the memo which said that Indians warrant special treatment by other Indians because we are all Indians. I'm all for celebrating identity, but this is taking things too far don't you think.

To my fellow Indians, you know that I am an advocate of gracious behaviour. Please extend this graciousness to phone conversations. We are not interested to hear how proficient you are at using the various permutations of the f-word and other vulgarities.

Somehow, using the term Mango Makkeh is not enough for Mr. Irate Gentleman.

So my fellow KLKlan members, what should we call rude, unreasonable makkehs?

Leave your suggestions in the comment column! My challenge to you is to not use ANY VULGARITIES! But you can call him a fruit if you so wish. However, the best suggestion will be printed in high gloss paper to be framed and hung in my cubicle.

As for me, I was going to think of him as a rat fink who crawled out of a sewer to make my life difficult, but that would be such an insult to the poor rats and other creatures like homeless heroin junkies, who consider the sewer system their humble abodes.

KLKalifornian Malaysians

Sheena Moorthy

3400 Poly Vista,
PO.BOX#1087,
CALPOLY, Pomona,91768,
CA U.S.A

2nd May 2007

Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Prime Minister Of Malaysia
Prime Minister Department,
Malaysia

Ref.: Racial Insult - Formal Complaint

Datuk Sri, I, Sheena Moorthy, a 3rd year Biotech Malaysian student in CALPOLY would like to submit a formal complaint against our Minister of Science & Technology, YAB Jamaluddin Narjis.

I would like to bring to your attention the following incident which was totally uncalled for from the minister.

Date: 30th April 2007
Time: 6.30pm
Venue: Belacan Grill Malaysian Restaurant, Redondo Beach, Ca

Minister of Science, Dato Jamaluddin Narjis was here on an official visit.He wanted to meet some of the Malaysian students studying in California especially the ones from TPM Academy twinning programme.

During the 3 ½ hour session, he passed a few comments against Indians, focusing his attack on me and being one of the two Indians present there

Incident 1 - Each student had to briefly introduce themselves. When it came to my turn, while speaking he interrupted me and asked if I knew Samy Velu, because he knows him. I don't see any relevance in that and he mentioned it a few times for no apparent reason.

Incident 2 - He gave a speech regarding how agriculture started in Malaysia.He mentioned how the British invested in Malaysia and made farmers work. Due to the lack of work force, "buruh India" was brought in. While mentioning this, he looked at me saying that's how we get Indians in Malaysia.

Incident 3 - After saying he is going to get MARA to help the Bumiputra students, he looked at me and asked "How many Indians are here?, I don't know and don't keep track of number of Indian students here" so I mentioned that "In this room, there are two (pointing to my another Malaysian Indian friend, who is fair skinned) and J.Jarjis looked at him and asked "Oh. You are an Indian", which means you are an upper class Indian and she is the lower class one (pointing at me).

He went on to say that, "Oh, I am not going to help upper class Indians, I only help to lower class ones. They are the ones that need it'. I left the room feeling very insulted.Basically he judged me based on my skin color.Being a Minister and respectable figure, these statements that he mentioned was unethical and biased. This happened in front of a crowd about 100 people. Being a true Malaysian at heart, and being taught not to discriminate among races especially in Malaysia, I feel humiliated as well as insulted by these racial remarks.

I demand a public apology from him because he does not have a right to judge me nor pass any remarks to me.Also, I would greatly appreciate if you could kindly review his performance and take appropriate action to mitigate another unwanted racial remark, insults and shame to our country from this minister.

Thanking you in advance.

Sincerely,

Sheena Moorthy

Editor's Note: Picked up by Malaysian bloggers earlier, an example of the rage it induced back up the peninsular, HERE. Sometimes, things get taken a step too far. Layman maybe forgivable. Minister? Hell no!

a·pos·tle

Somehow or rather, the topic of "Responsible Blogging" and the call for a "Blogger's Code of Conduct" is hot in the current state of things. That this started because of an episode on Vasantham is highly unlikely. Let's just take it as, a lot of people have questions and some won't stop till they're answered. Attempting to be the last line warrior to defend why we do what we do, MystiKal lays the matter to rest. Div had her twenty cents worth, HERE. Lacking the way of the wordsmith, I weighed in HERE. For all known posts stemming from a televised debate on the responsibility in the hands of bloggers, do click HERE and have your fill.

Henceforth, there WILL be no more, explanatory posts as to why things are the way they are. For reference, refer to our KLKillahs Manifesto. Show deference if you'd like to.

We are not the norm.

A blog can be many things. It can be a personal journal like this one. Where i get to see my thoughts come out in words. A sort of vent. Maybe even to show off.. LOL.. we are all capable of that. But KLKillahs is another kind of blog. What it used to be may be questioned, but i believe we have a new calling. Something for the future. A voice if u must, accessible to all, interactive voice to almost everything pertaining to being Indian. Negative positive or simply which pappadam is crispiest at which tekka pukul mati makan restaurant. Why? Who cares why?! WHY NOT! i ask you.

We address a need for us Indians to look at ourselves, laugh at ourselves and think for ourselves. Albeit many of the issues at KLKillahs are smothered with dark humour. A dry thesis espousing all the fuck things that are wrong/right with us. Or simply regurgitating talking points is being... pedestrian. This blog i may accept as pedestrian. Its just another blog of another random fella who thinks the world of himself. Et Tu Selva etc.. But KLKillahs is different.

Its a couple of people from different walks of life that come together, give their take, their opinions, their spin on issues.. talking points and/or random silly, not so silly things that will put a smile on your face on a mundane day, spur you to do some research on some topic instead of bumming away watching sun TV, go to work/school/public toilet and think about how reading that post on our blog made u think differently and hopefully affected you positively.. you get my drift?

That is what we are trying to achieve. We are not even doing it from behind a veil of secrecy. That in itself is a form of us taking responsibility in the articles that we do. And we set guidelines, skirt the edges, maybe bend/ break/ lay-on-the-floor-and-spread the rules in the attempt to stress a point, evoke a reaction, bring about a change.

That's what KLK is about my friends. Change. We dare to question. There is no limit to question. The right to ask is universal. Whether we get a satisfactory answer or a reasonable one is another question totally. Even asking a question can come in many forms. When we ridicule something. Ask yourself, what is the point? Do you really think we have nothing better to do then clown around making fun of people? There is a point there is a motive. Even for the mundane. When we point out errors, when we bring out our point even if we show u a picture with no caption or further illustration whatsoever, it is a question. It is a move, an effort to bring about change. To improve in whatever way we can. There.. there is our disclaimer. We do it in whatever way we can. With whatever resources that we can make do with...

Far from perfection we would be. Living in our own turmoil we may be. Disillusioned with life also we could be. But when we load that blogger page and type in the title of the post that we want to put on KLKillahs, we assume a mantle. The mantle of thinking from the readers' point of view. How that reader would be affected, how would the person we're talking about be affected? How can you bring about a change on the person reading it? Will he/she have a better day? A snort of derision? A rush of righteous anger? A stir of controversy? We learn from every post we write. The reactions. the feedback, and whiny little people who cannot stand their flaws put under a microscope. I wouldn't like it too.. That's why i signed up.. If you can't beat them.. join them :)

If i could sum up what we do? In as little words as possible. I'd say.. We're people who dare laugh at ourselves. Laugh at our flaws. And write articles that makes your day a little brighter. a tad funnier or probably more interesting :D Even if it means giving you reasons not to send your teen daughters to parade for small time TV that wouldn't look good on a resume anyway.. =)

Now the worse thing that can happen is if ah_neh nudges me on MSN and say "deh? what makes you think all that crap applies to me?" [what i'm most likely to say: "how, amk, half hour, thanni?"]

So in that context kindly imagine all the 'We' in this post represent me and my Muse...

NLB's Letters from Grandma & Grandpa

National Library Board has launched this project called Letters From Grandma And Grandpa.

The project is to help record advice (can be about life, the future, lessons to remember) grandparents want to pass on to their grandchildren.

Tamil Murasu is working together with National Library Board to gather and publish the letters in Tamil.

This is open to all Grandparents, who are Singaporeans or Permanent Residents.

• Your letter has to be written in Tamil.
• You should submit your letter in either typewritten or handwritten form.
• Each letter should have approximately 500 to 1,000 words.
• Unselected letters would be archived.
• Letters are subjected to editing by the selection panel.

For more details, please contact us and we will tell you how to submit your letter. kelingkillah@gmail.com

de·bate

Something that brightened up my Monday.

This language debate needs a skilful moderator
By P N Balji, Editorial Director, TODAY Posted: 07 May 2007 1107 hrs

I have been listening in on a discussion taking place among a group of Indian Singaporeans ("We are Indian Singaporeans and our unifying language is Tamil") in the confines of the Net. They are mainly talking about the disappearance of the Tamil language on signages at a couple of public places.

One talked about how he complained to a government organisation which had missed using the language on a signboard when 12 other languages were there. The person at the other end had been apologetic and promised to get it done within two months. That caused another round of discussions on why it needed two months to make a change.

Another wrote about a sign at a public place that has Hindi, but not Tamil. And yet another complained that some government websites looking for global talent emphasise English and Chinese but put Tamil in the "others" category.

Then there was a posting on the need for an Indian Affairs Minister here, which sparked responses from a couple of supporters.

There are two issues here, one easy to deal with and the other a little tricky, touchy and so more difficult to handle.

Despite how cosmopolitan we may appear to be as a city, language can always creep in and become a spoiler.

The civil servants who deal with things like signages, brochures and advertisements need to understand the language sensitivities underpinning Singapore society.

And this just doesn't apply to the minorities.

Not many of us would have forgotten that during the dengue scare two years ago, official brochures were printed only in English with the other languages, including Chinese, being forgotten.

That was corrected immediately with the pamphlets being re-printed not only in Chinese, but also Malay and Tamil as well.

It looks like some of our government departments have not learned from that error.

The Civil Service, known for its efficiency and its responsiveness, must not allow missteps in language to crop up again. And when such missteps do happen, they should be put right quickly.

But how to deal with an issue like this, especially now that there is an enabler called the Internet?

Before you even get into that, you need to find out why groups like Indian Singaporeans feel the way they do. To be completely colour blind in Singapore is not possible, what with policies like race-based help (CDAC, Mendaki and Sinda) and race-based electoral boundaries (Group Representation Constituencies), race-based quotas for HDB flats and race-related questions in application forms.

But what has complicated the simmering racial pot for the Tamil Singaporeans, who form the majority of the Indians here, is the recent influx of North Indians — who mainly speak Hindi — into Singapore.

Some feel their minority status is being further eroded. To understand their anxiety, one needs to understand the language divisions in India.

Hindi is as foreign to the Tamils as, say, French is. And although Hindi is the official language in India, it is not recognised in the south of the country — especially in Tamil Nadu, where elections can be lost and won on playing the language card.

The discussion on the Net has only just started.

Before it gets out of hand, we need a greater sensitivity on the part of organisations that deal with the public often, as well as a skilful moderator who will be able to better understand what is troubling this group and engage them with trust and confidence.

The ombudsman should be independent-minded, respected in the community and, most important of all, be outside the government embrace.

This Balji dude got most of his points right. Except the part where he says the discussion on the Net has only just started. I reference MDA Xchange from our old kelingkillah blog. Come on, its being going on for ages already. [The exchange was lifted from exactly the same Yahoo group, Mr Balji is subscribed to. We is have our hands everywhere.]

Someone outside the governmental embrace to manage Indian affairs? That would be something to look out for. Our very own Samy Vellu in the making. He's technically part of the government in Malaysia but its not very difficult to mark out his fiefdom.

So are we going to see an Indian Affairs Minister? [We already have Yaacob Ibrahim sitting as Minister-in-charge of Muslim Affairs, though point noted, one's a religion, we're a community] Would he be drafted from the foreign talent program or will we see a true blue local makkal take it up?

We'll keep you updated.

Pre-Interview for "Mudhal Payanam"

Continuing the original announcement HERE, Nal provides an update on what gives on her upcoming 1/2 hour of fame:

On Sunday, the TV crew came to my house to do a pre-trip interview for the show, Mudhal Payanam, which I have blogged about before.

For the occasion, we gave the house a super thorough cleaning, even getting areas we haven't thought about before, like curtains and behind wardrobes (like anyone is going to film there!) But it was partly the excitement of a TV crew coming to my humble HDB flat to film me, which made us overprepare.

They were supposed to be there at 4:30 initially, but because of the freaky rain we been having, the previous shoot went longer. So they decided upon 5:30.

Then 6:00.

Then 6:30. Dust was beginning to gather. I was starting to panic.

Then 7:00. Dad and Hanan were getting antsy, so I started dinner, make-up melting and all.

Finally at 7:15, there is activity outside the house, the four man crew with a huge box of equipment turned up.

In a flash, they are set up and ready to go. I tell you man, 3 lights and a camera tripod sure take up a lot of space! There was hardly any room to move, what with 12 tripod legs, wires everywhere and about 7 people squeezing into a space meant for one or two!

In my excitement, I totally forgot to take pictures *slaps head*, but of course, you will see it all when it comes out on TV lah.

My dad had a lot of nice stuff to say about me - that I was not shy, friendly with everyone. Thanks Dad! That's why I love you. He also had a lot of interesting facts and trivia on the place I am supposed to go to. And his Tamil!! The beauty of the language really comes through when Dad speaks it.

Hanan said I was a wonderful mom because I bought him alot of Xbox games. Ugh. Hope they edit out the stuff after "wonderful". Otherwise, he was kinda shy and did't say much, but that's ok.

On the whole, I think the interview went well. We couldn't do any outdoor shots because we had "lost daylight" as the producer put it, so that's gonna have to wait till after the trip. Hopefully, by then I will be so used to being filmed that I will be a lot more relaxed and vocal!

More updates soon!

Kiss That Nobody Could Miss

Via e-mail. Hilarious, Author: Melvin Durai.

What a year it’s been for Shilpa Shetty. The Bollywood actress has gained immense exposure around the world, grabbing headlines in major newspapers and getting every TV host in America, even the national ones, to mangle her name.

Shetty first drew worldwide attention when she appeared on the British reality show “Celebrity Big Brother” and endured offensive comments from other contestants, triggering protests in India and the requisite effigy-burning. (More effigies are burned in India than in any other country in the world, according to Raj Sharma, spokesman for the Indian Effigy Manufacturers Association. George W. Bush has been burned in effigy numerous times, but isn’t quite in the Top Ten. (The only way for him to move up would be to join the Indian cricket team.)

Shetty’s activities have been a boon to the effigy industry. Three months after winning “Celebrity Big Brother,” she was embroiled in another controversy, having made the mistake of standing too close to Hollywood star Richard Gere.

The pair were at a televised AIDS awareness event in New Delhi, appearing on stage in front of thousands of people, when Gere kissed Shetty on the hand, embraced her, bent her backwards and kissed her several times on the cheek. To some onlookers, it looked like a demonstration. Gere was showing everyone that you can’t get AIDS, of course, by kissing a Bollywood actress. (You can’t get AIDS by kissing anyone else either, but you can get slapped. Trust me, I know.)


Many men in the audience were naturally upset. It was rude of Gere, even disgraceful, not to invite them to participate. “Demonstration is all well and good,” one man said. “But we wanted to see for ourselves that it’s safe to kiss Shilpa. We were ready to form a neat line.”

Some political activists and others in India were outraged by Gere’s act. They called it “obscene” and “vulgar,” causing millions of youngsters to go online to view it. “We were very disappointed,” a teen-aged boy said. “She kept her sari on the whole time.”

Many others felt that Shetty acted improperly. “She didn’t resist at all,” said a middle-aged Mumbai woman. “She could have pushed him away. She could have pepper-sprayed him or something.”

Several young women from Chennai insisted they would have acted differently. “I’m a Christian,” one of them said. “If Richard Gere kissed me passionately on the cheek, I’d show him the other cheek.”

Most of the anger on the streets was directed at Gere. Protesters, egged on by political activists, didn’t just burn effigies of Gere, they beat them with sticks. That sparked a dozen more protests, most of them organized by PETE (People for the Ethical Treatment of Effigies).

Shetty said people were overreacting and that Gere was just being sweet, prompting an Indian tabloid to print a tongue-twister of a headline: “Shapely Shilpa Shetty shockingly shows no shame!”

Then a lawyer filed a complaint accusing Gere of an “indecent act” and a judge in Rajasthan issued an arrest warrant for Gere. He faced a potential penalty of three months in prison, a fine or both. He’d better watch out or he could find himself sharing a cell with a burly man named Munna.

Gere: “Hello, what are you in here for?”
Munna: “Armed robbery. I robbed a bank and shot three people. What about you?”
Gere: “Kissing.”
Munna: “Oh my God! You kissed someone?”
Gere: “Yes, but it was just an innocent ...”
Munna: “Guards! Get me out of here! I don’t want to be with this man.”
Gere: “Come on, relax. I’m harmless.”
Munna: “Stand back, man! Don’t come near me with those lips!”

Gere has apologized for the kiss, saying he was just mimicking a scene from his 2004 movie “Shall We Dance” and evidently misread Indian customs. He plans to continue visiting India, but from now on will wear a hockey mask in public to keep himself from kissing anyone.

His experience might give people the impression that public kissing does not occur in India, that no one ever does it. But that’s not true at all. A few cases of public kissing have been recorded.

In 2001, for example, a Delhi man and his wife won a new Maruti car in a contest. The man was pictured in the Times of India planting a loving kiss on the front bumper. The next day, members of the right-wing group Shiv Sena burned effigies of the man. Some accused the man of “auto-erotic behaviour.”

In 2004, a Madurai man was spotted kissing a donkey. The donkey belonged to the man’s boss, a flour merchant. The man was arrested and taken to court. “It’s my wife’s fault,” he told the judge. “She told me that if I want the boss to give me a promotion, I need to kiss his ass.”

N.B. Gere is now scot free after a public apology. Judge who issued the arrest warrant however has been transferred. Div had her own take on Shilpa Shetty a while back. Published for your perusal. Fictional but provoking.

A "WHAT IF" story

As we all know, Jade Goody, Shilpa Shetty's co-star in Big Brother, and the one who got even Tony Blair talking about racism has been invited by the government of India 'to visit India and experience the country's healing nature.'

Lets assume Goody will accept the invitation; after all she would want to be 'cleansed' of the bigotry she discovered she carries within herself.

Jane boards Kingfisher airlines, one of the up and coming 'cool' domestic airlines that now fly all over India, and the moment she enters, she has an astonished look on her face.

"Is anything the matter Ms. Goody" ask the indian official who has been assigned to be assist with her Indian Government sponsored 'healing programme'.

"Yes!" says Ms. Goody, "I thought Indians were brown!"

"Most of us are" said the Indian official, happy to help her in the discovery of the Indian people.

"Then why are the flight stewardesses so fair. That woman is probably whiter than me!"

"The Kingfisher airline is very particular!" says the official proudly, "They only pick the most beautiful women to be their stewerdesses."

"What about the brown skinned women?"

"The darkies!" exclaimed the official, "Why would they want to hire some ugly dark skinned woman?"

Miss Goody then opens the Times of India and the matrimonial section catches her eye. The official notices. "Are you planning on getting married?" he enquires politely. Ms Goody seems excited, "I don't think I'll have a problem in your country!" she adds.

"Why madam?"

"All the ads are asking for a fair skinned bride, and as you can see, I'm very fair skinned myself."

The two spend the rest of the journey uneventfully, and they finally land at the capital, New Delhi. Jade and the government official walk out of the plane and they are waiting at the baggage collection area.

A beareded man recognises Jade and comes towards her, holding out his autograph book and pen.

"Don't" hisses the government official, as he steers her away.

"He wants my autograph" she added, puzzled and a bit hurt, "how sweet of him. Why did you stop me?"

"Have nothing to do with him!" whispers the official staring daggers at the bearded man.

"Why not?" asks a puzzled and very confused Jade.

"He is from the scheduled caste! It will not help to be seen talking to him! People like him are only trouble."

"So?" asks Miss Goody, genuinely puzzled, "isn't he an Indian?" Jade looks expectantly at the official who has been designated to help heal her. The official had no answer for her.

She then pulls out her Lonely Planet Guide and opens the book to an earmarked page. She shows it to the official. "I would like to visit this religious place that I have heard so much about!" she gushes.

The official looks at her with a frown. "Oh no Madam! It is not possible."

Taken aback at his fierce response, she asks "Why not?"

"The temple is only open to men, women are not allowed; they will pollute the holy temple."

It is a slightly different Jade who finally lands up in Bombay where she meets her fellow housemate Shilpa for the first time after the gameshow. "Shilpa!" she yells.

"Hi Jade!" says Shilpa, turning around to smile for the hundreds of cameras. "How is the healing coming along?"

"You bitch" murmurs Jade under her breath concious of all the rolling cameras, "you've got more bigotry, chauvinism and racism here than was found on our show! You've grown up with it, what made you shed all those tears?"

"Ah!" says Shilpa, "I'm a good actress no?"

Link

Analyze KLKillahs

It is not entirely untrue to say that you know you've arrived in the world of whizzing light rays through fiber optic cables when you notice detractors commenting on your blog. Step Two would be to notice that people actually bother to challenge what you say by setting up an "anti" blog. Though, "anti" need not be the operative word in most situations.

Like Xiaxue has her XialanXue counterpart, an individual has taken it upon himself to "analyze" and put right whatever the KLKillahs might have uttered in this more than a year's existence of ours.

Keling Speak is the joint and here are a few snippets for your perusal. Link will be placed on our sidebar permanently. No barrier to competition for FOS we are.

i was redirected to the KLKillahs' blog and oh my, wad a pandora's box i had opened.. I was soo absorbed reading the posts that i just couldnt stop.. The posts were so amazingly funny, interesting and thought-provoking.. But that is where the problem started.. The posts were thought-provoking

i had finished the KLKillahs account and i was about to head on to the earlier KelingKillahs acct.. And boy was I in for a rude shock.. The posts were 'oh-so-well-written" good.. They were systematic, well-organised, interesting and amazingly funny.. Even after i had finished reading them, and headed back home i was still thinking on how well-oiled the KLK machinery was.. It almost seemed like this people are paid to do this stuff.. It was definitely the work of a professional, i would say

Despite the overwhelming calls for freedom of speech, it is just simply unacceptable (to me), that someone or rather (some single-minded group) should possess the power to post whatever thoughts that come to their head, without fear of criticism.. Now im not saying that the creative ones at KLK do not face criticism.. Im sure they do, but they now need to know that the ante has been upped.. They will no longer be allowed to dwell in their comfort zones and blast anyone and everyone they fancy.. Do not get me wrong again.. Im not professing to be the guardian, of all the Indians in our society.. (And seriously, i believe that some of them deserve to get ridiculed).. But what i am here to do, is to provide an alternative view

In fact i have respect aplenty for some of their writers, namely Praba and DeviousDiv.. Praba has an inimitable manner of infusing wit, charm and humour to his posts that will easily endear him to his readers.. DeviousDiv would by far be the most objective writer of them all.. She has a very systematic approach to her writing, and can easily be a rolemodel to many bloggers in Singapore.. The passion she has for writing has definitely not escaped my discerning eyes.

There you go.

KLKombination

We have a fresh debutant, all the way from Australia [the feeling is magic], Thiagesh. He tells us why we should embrace our brothers from other mothers. Different land mass or not.

If everyone thinks that we, as Indians, have an identity crisis in Singapore, we ain’t seen nothing yet. Our identities, our loyalties, hell sometimes even our sanity, is tested when we meet our estranged (separated at birth MGR-style) brother, the doppelganger himself, the INDIA INDIAN.

In the security of sanitized Singapore, being Indian is very simple. We appreciate our ethnicity, proudly claim we rather wash than wipe (we’re probably the only race who does that) and yet assimilate into one collective identity when an event brings us together, like the Tiger Cup final.

Yet, when we face an Indian national, we become the fallen angels. We share heaps in common with them. The desire for hot food, similar culture, music, movies, but the fact is “yaar” and “la” can never be reconciled. The similarities stop at the above. Then comes the damning truth. The Indian diaspora is not only diverse in regards to language and geography, it’s also diverse in terms of viewpoint.

What’s worse however, is that the India Indian thinks the Singaporean Indians are nuts. They can’t understand the fact why we don’t find cricket exciting and instead crow that we’re champions of South East Asia. They can’t understand the fact we don’t understand Hindi and dispute the fact that Singapore is even a country!

How do we then interact with the Indian nationals in Singapore? In a recent event to celebrate the Tamil language, Prof S Jayakumar said that Singaporean Indians need to interact more with Indian immigrants.

This statement may have meant well, but it is damning evidence of what is happening in Singapore between these two groups of people. We may look the same and eat the same, but in regards to mentality we are poles apart. It gets even worse because discrimination is inherent in India. In North India, if you can’t speak Hindi, you’re a second class citizen. People don’t speak English to adapt to your needs, its because they take pity on you.

Its something which takes place on a smaller scale in Singapore. As a Tamil speaking majority(I say tamil speaking because not all tamil speakers are tamil), we tend to look after our interests than any other dialect group. And that I might add, is putting it mildly

Its time we stop that. We have a collective national identity, yet our ethnicity is fractured. We complain about our interests being overlooked, but are we really establishing a collective identity?

Its only if we stay united that we can make others understand about us. This includes India Indians. Its only then we will be able to adapt and allow them to assimilate. Its not hard really. Our grandfathers did it. As their progeny, why can’t we?

Blog Like Div

My dear readers,

I was excited that the debate on Pesuvom was going to discuss Blogging. I maintained hope that the debate will actually focus on what I would see as the issues on hand. After watching the show, I was disappointed that the producers missed out on an excellent opportunity for a debate, instead choosing to focus on miniscule issues that don't even merit mention in the larger scheme of things. So much potential, such a loss!

I must add at this juncture, that the participants on both camps were making many attempts to engage the issues of social responsibility and freedom of speech. And in my perception, the moderator of the dialogue failed in her objective in addressing the issues, choosing instead to focus on miniscule and irrelevant things like the use of vulgarity. It became very monotonous after some time, when she began to harp on things like 'but don't you think about how you are going to hurt the other person's feelings?'

She is a good speaker, but this episode seemed to reveal that she had clearly not done her research, and failed to raise some pertinent points that ought to have been raised. I'd like to think that the whole debate was flushed down the big sewer otherwise known 'the PR circus of showbiz'.

Throughout the show, I noticed that there were mixed definitions on the understanding of a blog. As I see it, proclaiming a blog as an online diary is a wrong parameter to work with. If you are making an entry to a blog, there are certain steps you follow. Most importantly when you finish with your entry, you push the 'publish' button. Here we have an obvious indication that the blog in question is a publication, very much like a newspaper column on cyberspace. What you say, you say it in one of the most vast and wide open spaces ever created, to an audience that constitutes anyone in the world with internet access. The term 'diary' indicates that your blog is a private one and for private consumption only.

Another paradigm of blogging that the show tried to address, but failed spectacularly, was the issue of ethical or responsible blogging. I feel that an average blogger often fails to grasp the ethical considerations of posting his or her opinions online.

The argument that a person can choose not to read a blog is immature and limited. It just reveals that the blogger is trying not to take ownership for his or her words and opinions. So when one of the panelists raised this opinion, I was itching to get up there and give her an intellectual slap.

While many might disagree with me on this, I felt that the introduction of the Ms. Vasantham contestants into the panel, as 'victims' of negative comments on blogs was a master stroke which brought home an important point. More often than not, the erstwhile blogger is imbibed with a false sense of isolation and privacy when he types from the relative anonymity of his personal computer. He forgets that there are others who read his blog and people who are impacted by his words. The idea of 'putting a blogger in a tight spot' by making him confront the very people he was making a negative comment about was in theory a good one.

Of course, the producers lost the plot when they kept harping on the issue, not giving the blogger a chance to defend himself and develop his argument about how as a celebrity in the public eye, one must be prepared to deal with all kinds of comments. As the debate sunk into finger pointing, I was saddened.

The idea of "Freedom of Speech" being interpreted as 'using bad words, four lettered words and vulgarity' was the biggest disappointment of the show. As bloggers, we all know that freedom of speech extends beyond that. While some attempt was made to define parameters of this freedom to exclude personal attacks and racist attacks, as dictated by the law, it once again failed to address the main issue of this whole debate.

Ethical or Responsible Blogging in the context of Freedom of Speech.

Ultimately, what we wish to write on our blogs is our choice. But as bloggers we have to take ownership for what we write, and stop ducking behind regulations and definitions. We have to be responsible bloggers. This does not mean 'writing about social issues' as some of the panelists seem to think. In fact, it has very little to do with the content of our entries.

As an Indian, I take a step back to look at the culture that weaned me and made me the person I am, to define my role and responsibilities as a blogger. The Second Law of Manu, the great Indian political philosopher states that a king does not rule for himself, his dynasty, his clan, his varna [caste] or family. He rules for his people.

While we bloggers are not leaders of great nations, we are leaders in our own right, expressing opinions that will shape the ideology and opinions of our readers in this exciting new medium of blogging. It is in this context that I frame my opinion. I believe in the freedom of expressing one's opinion, but I strongly believe that this has to be tempered by a sense of what impact these opinions will have. Ultimately, this is what we must carry within our hearts when we try to be a responsible blogger.

Why do I say this? As bloggers, it might help if we remember that the pen/keyboard is a powerful instrument. To cite Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. We can instead turn this powerful medium of free expression towards making a positive impact.

Plato alludes to his cave of ignorance where the inhabitants view the shadows of people going and coming and decides that that is the world. Most people are inhabitants of that metaphorical cave, and the 'shadows' they see are in the Internet and on television. We the enlightened ones must lead them to the light. Bloggers are the enlightened ones of cyberspace, since people will read our writing, and form opinions on the things they don't know or understand based on how we explain it to them.

However benign the writer's intentions were, emotional pain and a ruined reputation are not things that can be fixed with an apology and cash settlement. One cannot mitigate the fact that lives have been ruined, and will continue to be ruined under the weight of irresponsible journalism, both on print and online.

Blogging fails in its objective the moment it crosses the boundaries of graciousness, because it reveals that the blogger has failed to understand his position as a person with the power to shape the opinions and ideas of his readers.

As Indians, we are weaned on a culture that advocates graciousness, with our literature, myth and legends ripe with heroes who were generous and kind. As Indian Bloggers, we really must remember to spread this very graciousness that is such a big part of our culture. It will only serve to cement our KLK identity.

In other words, think before you blog.

At the end of this post, you would have realised that I have very grandiose opinions about blogging. However, I do hope that this post at least shows the world that not all bloggers have fluff between their eyes, and that some of us do make an effort to understand our roles as bloggers and warriors on the frontier of free speech, and defendants of the KLK-identity in cyberspace.

Pesuvom Poignance

Fresh from warming my bum on the sofa for half an hour. It was a total waste of viewing time. Like where were the flying beer jugs and "your mother ..." insults? A waste of reality programming in my humble opinion.

Still, this was a revelation. I think the KLKillahs should just swing 180 degrees and adopt a more "socially responsible" behaviour. God knows what we were doing all along with regards to shining the light on "society". Apparently, we were totally disillusioned and had our heads immersed in bags full of nitrous oxide. This is what is gonna happen now.

1. Only "socially responsible" issues will be written about - You don't need to know about unruly bus commuters, what's going on in local TV or even about dumb KLKriminals. What you are going to see henceforth, are strict expository [2 points YES, 2 points NO, Conclusion] on topics like education, politics, business and sports.

2. "You don't know who reads your blog" - We will turn this place into a private blog, fully password loaded so we know each and every one of the 500 odd souls who reload twice a day to read us. Registration includes full given name, IC number, existing residential address, age and your tolerance to sarcasm and cynicism so that we know exactly how to tailor a custom made post for you. Posts thus will not be published here but will be e-mailed to individual registrants so that they read only what they are capable of reading. We are an equal opportunity site.

3. The loss of face - The programme itself was conducted like a panchayat we often see in Tamil flicks. It wasn't a debate. Heck, it couldn't even pass off for a Pattimandram. Solomon Pappaiya would be quite displeased with this level of oral arguments. I only understood one thing through it all and it was harped on from start to end. Don't write anything that will make people lose face. That can be you, your folks, your siblings, your friends or complete strangers. Back to being Yindian and Asian and the ideal of protecting "maanam, rosham, suudu, sornai" at all times even to the brink of death. So, yeah, take your cue from what they said and even if you ate a restaurant that served you prata with cockroach eggs as a side dish, don't tell a soul. You are "hurting the owner's feelings".

4. People blog because they write better than they speak - Crap. We all write and speak well. We would speak for you even if given the chance. One man went "a blog is my online diary" and another went "well i don't want to read what your personal life is about". The plot is lost. The person who said that should also stop reading the newspapers and watching news because every single event reported is someone else's personal life. Get it? So, to combat not writing about issues we feel strongly about, we shall instead just concentrate on writing well. From now on, all posts will be following the style of those Edusave-paid-for "Creative Writing" classes in secondary schools. We will only use flowery prose, flowing sentences and strict essay structure. We might resort to some poetry or haikus to lessen the burden of having to read 800 word essays. So, stay tuned for that.

5. Expletives - I think it's fuckin lame that the question was even asked if fuckin swearing was against the fuckin rules. What rules? Ah yes, the unspoken Yindian rules of blogging, which were all covered above in the first 4 pointers. Firstly, do read up on the history and different contextual usages of the word HERE. Secondly, I think it's just damn fuckin wrong that some people think I can't go "fuck!". I don't have a problem with the way you dig your nose on the bus and wipe it on the seat in front. In fact, I'd want you to fuckin do it again so I can get my 10 minutes of YouTube fame.

Thirdly, the KLKillahs should be fuckin hanged for teaching all those fuckin ten year old kids who read us religiously how to swear. What the fuck were we thinking? Fourthly, it is not nice to swear cos what will people think of you? That, I can put thoughts to words with the same intensity and bring across a point in the most efficient manner, that's what. Conclusion? We need to stop swearing. From now on, everything is just "nice" or "good" or "great" or "bad".

So, I think this will solve all issues the conservatives have with us. But of course, there is one other way around this that will not require any of the five steps above. All of youse should just stop reading. It will do your troubled minds a lot of good. Ask us for a pamphlet too. For an all paid holiday to the "world where people are not sarcastic nor nasty nor have opinions and everyone is nice and sweet and love each other and don't swear; ever". Next sampan leaves in an hour.

Piss Purification

Brought to our attention via e-mail. Still shaking my head at this atrocity. Wake up and smell equality people.

Indian teachers 'purify' students with cow urine

Mumbai, April 22, 2007

Indian teachers have been sprinkling cow urine on low-caste students to purify them and drive away evil. In India, millions of people formerly known as "untouchables" remain oppressed at the bottom of the ancient Hindu caste system. The Times of India reported yesterday that upper-caste headteacher Sharad Kaithade ordered the ritual after taking over from a lower-caste predecessor at a school in a remote village in the western state of Maharashtra earlier this month. He told an upper-caste colleague to spray cow urine in a cleansing ceremony as the students were taking an examination, wetting their faces and their answer sheets, the newspaper said. "She said you'll study well after getting purified," student Rajat Washnik was quoted as saying by the CNN-IBN news channel.

Students said they felt humiliated. Hinduism reveres the cow, and its dung is used in the countryside as both a disinfectant and as fuel. In 2001, Hindu nationalists promoted cow's urine as a cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer. The newspaper said the two teachers were arrested after angry parents complained to police. They have been released on bail.

India's secular constitution bans caste discrimination, but Dalits - those at the bottom of the caste system - are still commonly beaten or killed for using a well or worshipping at a temple reserved for upper castes, especially in rural areas. Dalits, once known as untouchables, make up around 160 million of India's billion-plus population. In February, the New York-based Human Rights Watch group said India was failing to protect its lower-caste citizens, who were condemned to a lifetime of abuse because of their social status. Reuters

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