KLK Estate

It's not everyday we get our name in the newspapers. That it appeared in one up north gives us that much more pride. Of course, on close inspection we kinda realized it was just our namesake, but heck it, we'll take credit for it anyway.

KLK estate workers to get terrace houses

IJOK: Workers from three estates belonging to Kuala Lumpur Kepong (KLK) Bhd would be able to own single storey terrace houses after their employer implements a housing schemes in the near future.

MIC president Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu said the company had already agreed to implement the scheme after obtaining the approval from the relevant authorities.

“The workers in Tuan Mee, Caledonia and Coalfield estates would be the main beneficiaries,” he said to roaring approval from the Indian voters who were gathered at the small community centre.

Tuan Mee’s senior manager Chuan Chong Meng, National Union of Plantation Workers general secretary Datuk G. Sankaran, MIC deputy president Datuk G. Palanivel and other MIC leaders were also present.

Samy Vellu said the estate workers had put forward the proposal for houses two days ago and they were here to give the good news.

“This is how the Barisan Nasional government works. We discussed and got the approvals within a short time for the benefit of the estate people,” he said.

Samy Vellu said estate workers who wanted to upgrade their houses or even own bungalows could do so after discussions with the company, which is constructing the houses.

“I must thank the management of KLK for taking into consideration the problems of the estate workers and deciding on the housing scheme within a short period,” he said.

News Link

Well thank you Mr. Vellu, it's nice to be appreciated. Thing is we were aware of our great abbreviation quite some time back. Read this post to see where this snapshot by a KLKlanite came from, HERE.

typ·i·cal·ly·a·typ·i·cal

Every Indians' panty buncher. To be called typical.

We try so hard at distinguishing ourselves that so many kinds of 'typical' has evolved.

So before i force my views down your throats, i tested water with various people on my MSN list who were awake at this ungodly hour.

These came back..

Chick doing Law in UK for the last few years :

erm. By endorsing the common misconception of being 'typically indian', we attach with it a negative stigma, so profound. While each race has had its quirks, its moments of closed-mindedness, such connotations do no good for the Indian community as a whole.

Chinese Goth Dude:

Singaporean Indians, when boiled down to it, are no different from Singaporeans of any other kind. Sure, their skin may be a little darker, their scent a little more exotic, but when push comes to shove, they shove as hard as a chinaman, half-f*ck ang moh, or mat salleh brotherWe love our food. They love their food. We love our shopping. They love their shopping, with even a one-up at a certain famous 24hour store.We love our drinking. They love their drinking,We love our women. They beat their women. Stereotypes aside, the Singaporeans I know, who happen to be Indian by race, had no choice or say in it. But none of us do- and it's what we share in common that makes us the same, Singaporean, whether mama, manjun, mat, or (ang) moh.And the Singaporeans I know, who just happen to be of darker tone, are decent, generous, trustworthy human beings, the same as the rest.But indians from india, however..... :P

Indian Chick:

hot tempered, egoistical, jabbers for a hobby, finds street tamil rather cool, finds indian clubs a bangin hang out, cheap cologne, ill coloured hair, homogenised sense of dressing..

Chinese 'Mobster' Dad:

very smart but out to screw with u, good business acumen but out to screw you, always overcharges you when u order at his/her indian rojak store

Northie dude:

ugly, black, coffee shop, beer,doesn't know wut to do wif life..most impt

Ah Lian:

black,curly hair,speaks with a curly tongue,erm.......tall,big wide smile and nice teeth

iNerd:

those who christened every indian..into a Mike and maccha and instead of using Fuck..they use Ponna eh ydae i was Ponna drunk la.. -? example in the 90s and all..leopard print was the fashion statement now very hard to identify them cuz all have morphed into hip-hop wannabes congregating at a chosen english hip-hop club which will then close down a few mths later cuz it has too many maamas and so random fights every night well the girls hmm...the Mangs. are more ferocious than their male counterparts and not afraid to fight it out usually wear the colour of their rainbow as their contact lens and matching eyeshadow. ALWAYS HAVE MATCHING EYESHADOW nowadays they have morphed from hair which will be let down no matter what the length to rebonded..to keep up with the times

Mat-Mamak:

evening chain-guinness stout followed by a walk back home but not before throwing a punch or two onto someone's face, just about anyone, either a family member, friend or a stranger.

NUS Engineering Chinese Dude:

A typical Indian to me falls under 3 categories. One is the intellectual ones. They are made from a cookie cutter, they all seem to wear collared long sleeved shirts, tucked into their blue jeans, wearing a pair of new balance track shoes they probably bought from Mustafa. They seem to travel around in packs like hyeenas. Study together, eat together and no one is allowed to join their clic. One place you'll find them in NUS is the computer labs. ^_^ haha OMG when will they stop living up to their stereotypes. The other type is the skirt wearing, structure building specialist, aka the "bangala". They don't stray far from the intellectual types, in that they travel together in packs, some times wear a long sleeved shirt and occasionally jeans. But that is where all the similarities end.

They love to hold hands and walk with their other hand in their crotch. I bet the intellectual indians are wishing they could do that but that would be un-"KOOL", god knows what would happen if they did that. Their father might SLAP them. (Angry Indian man ^_^). Instead of the computer lab, you'd probably find them at 7-11 buying cans of cheap beer for their entourage.Finally comes the "Singapore Indian". They are split into 2 sub categories. First is the normal ones. Not much to say, except being Singaporean and Indian, they tend to relate everything back to INDIAN Culture! French crepe = THOSAI! When in a supermarket, first thing they look for is the MASALA!

Then comes then second type, the Indian Ah Beng, the Anjadi.With his overly gelled hair, skinny jeans, tight shirt and sharp comb in his rear jean's pocket, its looks like he is ready at a moments notice to head down to BA BA BLACK CHIC! to meet his Khaki Langs. To me, it seems the sharp comb serves a more insidious purpose other then resetting his hair incase a strong gust of wind displaces it. With recent crack down of weapons in clubs, it seems the next best thing would be a sharp comb to the eye to put and end to a dispute.



So what is this 'typical' Indian identity we talk about? Must it necessarily be a negative one? Why do people try as hard as they can to distance themselves from being a 'typical' Indian in the strive to attain a higher social strata, imaginary though that may be?

When i decided that i should do a tad of research before delving more into this topic and bugged my sad MSN list, i also figured that i should not limit this to the privileged few on my contacts but let some public views in as well.

Tell Us. Negative or positive. What is your take on this whole 'typical' stereotyping.

And we'll hit you back with our KLKonklusion

stereotype, singapore, indian
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EZ Link Mango Makkeh

I must report to all my readers a very strange incident that happened today, which involves a Makkeh and his energetic reverse pelvic thrusts.

It was about 0745 hrs. I was on the bus 55. And there was a Tamilan sitting in the seat in front of me.

How did I know he was a Tamilan? His hand phone's ring tone was 'Maamaa Maamaa Maamaa'. It rang fifteen times in the forty minute bus ride. I was intrigued enough to count. While I wish I could recount the content of his conversation, it was utterly forgettable.

He wanted to get off the bus at one of the bus stops along Jalan Eunos. He rang the bell to signal his intention to alight. He moved towards the door and waited for the bus to stop.

When the bus stopped and the door opened, he turned around and started rubbing the left part of his 'behind' on the EZ Link machine, or it seemed to be that way from where I was sitting.

He then uttered a sound of frustration, his forehead creased in concentration. He was thinking hard.

He decides on his course of action, which involved him using his entire behind, and began earnestly bumping against the EZ Link machine making all kinds of weird noises. One bump, two bump, three bump, four bump...

By this time, the bus driver and the five passengers were all watching him with utterly incredulous looks on their faces. I was involved in a tremendous personal battle to keep my face completely immobile.

Then suddenly we heard a loud beep. Our friend seemed relieved to hear this beep and bounded down the stairs. The driver moved off, and I saw the poor chap shaking his head in bewilderment.

Apparently, namba makkeh had put his EZ Link card in the back pocket of his jeans, and thought to tap his card to exit.

Only a mango makkeh will think that the most logical course of action to take when one has an EZ Link card in one's back pocket is to tap one's entire behind against the machine.

As the bus rolled away, I saw him take out the standard issue orange plastic comb from his back pocket, and run it through his greasy blonde streaked hair. I tried to picture him trying to comb his hair with his behind, and failed spectacularly. Unfortunately, my imagination at 8 am only goes so far.

Editor's Note: Perhaps these videos should shed more light on Yindian bus menaces.

Yindian decides he is too good to pay the bus fare



His brother-in-law joins in the fray



Not forgetting our senior citizens' contribution to the public transport system

indian, bus, singapore, ez link
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Pesuvom Redux

Picture created by an American blogger on the issue of protecting First Amendment rights. It prohibits the federal legislature from making laws that establish religion (the "Establishment Clause") or prohibit free exercise of religion (the "Free Exercise Clause"), laws that infringe the freedom of speech, infringe the freedom of the press, limit the right to assemble peaceably, or limit the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

While the rest of you were busy sipping on tea/coffee, depending on your appraisal, a handful were down at MediaKorp last Wednesday to state their views on whether blogging should be controlled. A debate based entirely on where the line should be drawn. Keling Kween and I were down at MediaKorp representing the panelists on behalf of the KLKindred.

Now, what we were aware of was that 8 others would join in to wrangle this issue out. 5 in a team, we were expected to battle each other out on where the line should be drawn along with how much of a freedom we should take up in hand. But what we weren't aware of was that Barathi and Yuvaneswari [of previous Ms. Vasantham (in)fame] appeared as guest speakers to relate how blogs have affected them. This left us in uncertainty.

Were we there to talk about the freedom one should take in hand when blogging or were we there to defend ourselves as to why such comments were thrown at them during the Miss Vasantham beauty pageant proceedings? What was the agenda? In my opinion, their unexpected visit actually defied the objective of the proposed subject. Barathi had earlier questioned the host, unaware that we have connections everywhere watching every move, on who the guy was from KLK who wrote the post about the Vasantham girls [he was attempting a major paper in uni FYI]. Upon hearing it this minutes after they had posed the question, I knew very well this whole subject was heading a one way direction. Immediately, I expected an 'attack' and 'defend' session. [Oh well, we're all footy players anyway. Another day, another game]

The 'intended' debate was to tackle issues such as social responsibility, limits to freedom of speech and the use of vulgar language. Didn't look pretty much that way when the recording eventually got on its way. Much wasn't talked about social responsibilities nor limits to freedom of speech nor the use of vulgar language. Most of the show was spent arguing over the whole Miss Vasantham saga. A 30 minute episode had a one hour debate going on about why such comments were thrown at the girls.

We had to repeat time and again what we pen down in words are what we truly feel about a given subject. It's all about your perception. You can't take it cause you have a heart of butter and our words seem like a hot knife through it. We can't do anything about it. That's as far as you go. I believe that freedom of speech is the authorization handed to an individual to mention what one wishes to. Of course, we ain't just sitting behind the computer typing remarks. If there was any predicament arising from what we wrote, readers were given the rights to state their opinions in the comments. Else, get through to us VIA the links on this blog.

At the end of the day, after all was said and done, I don't think we owe anyone any explanation nor any apology for what we blog about. We feel like this, we blog this. If we have to restrict our point of view, then I think the word "freedom" has been mistaken. And a point I'd like everyone to take note. We in KLK don't just sit behind computers and type. We also come out and speak up when it's required. And like we have said on TV which will be aired pretty soon, we have the guts to state our opinion. At the same time, we also have the guts to face the repercussions. It's not like we blog under an anonymous identity or moniker and go underground.

On asked if blogging should be controlled, I agreed that it should to a certain extent. The vulgarities. Not the content that we're dealing with. But then again, if I am one who uses vulgarities even while speaking, then there is nothing wrong in me using vulgarities while blogging cos thats just me. What I blog is what I am. When there is no 'KNNBCCB!', there is no point in expressing a really agonizing or censure feeling. As for the content, I believe that everybody should be given the right to state their opinions. The definition of blog states that it's an online diary, I don't think anyone needs to worry about what they'll write about in their diary.

KLKriminalitis

Now, on 7th Nov 2007 last year our fine Men In Blue managed to nab a drug courier who ought to have been featured in Singapore's Dumbest Criminals if there was such a show. Mr. Poopathi Chinaiyah Paliandi managed to get caught at KK Hospital carrying a red plastic bag full of 10 blocks of cannabis.

When arrested, the CNB officers actually identified the material initially as "vegetable matter". Now why anyone would assume a plant looking thing was affirmatively a vegetable is still a question to be answered. Perhaps any ex-CNB trained readers would like to clarify.

Poopathi was actually a courier and would have been paid $2000 for the delivery. He also was consuming his own product as urine tests later confirmed. He was sentenced to 12 years jail and 10 strokes of the cane recently on 29th March. He is appealing against District Judge Victor Yeo's sentence right about now; the same judge who said "He even had the audacity to conduct his clandestine trafficking activities in a hospital which attended to mostly women and young children."

The details of the proceedings in court are available HERE.

Now, why do we think this man needs a TV program all for himself? Observe where KK Hospital is situated and what OTHER significant buildings surround it:


drug, trafficking, kk hospital
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KLKomment Tutorial

Now, to avoid the hideous "anonymous" header on your comment, leaving your published comment looking like this:

Anonymous

[Text]

Name

Follow these steps to stamp your name on everything you say and not be debased or shrugged off as just another anon kopitiam commentator.

Just cos, you don't have a blogger account doesn't mean you can't state your name. Follow these two quick steps to stamp your own identity over the words you spew.

Step 1: Click "Other"

Step 2: Type Name


Step 3: Publish and admire your 2 cents worth

Pesuvom Rewound

So, we DID send representatives to attend the recording of Vasantham's Pesuvom yesterday, April 18th. Keling Kween and Praba sat in on one half of the assembled panels to point out that restricting blogs and bloggers is downright nonsense and that everyone has their right to discern credible information and opinions. Everyone that is except the whiners who still insist we must all "not hurt others' feelings". Oh! What a cruel world. Did you also remember not to hurt that poor ant-you-crushed-in-the-kitchen's feelings?

Before it airs on 2nd May at 8 pm, we've the inside scoop as usual. Our KLKillahs will let you know how it went for them in the next post. In this one, we give you a member of the opposing panel:

The show started out with topics such as the importance of tamil speaking and pre-marital sex. The very next debate was on blogging and if it should have its limits. A few of us got the chance to be in this episode, on both sides of the panels. One panel that was up for blogging totally and said that writing whatever they wanted was their own choice. Another panel, not against the idea of blogging but did have the idea that blogging should have its limits; ie we must know where not to cross the line.

Having to meet Miss Kalpana(the host) at 4pm, off to the makeup room where it was the boys who were made up in the end. Pretty sure they enjoyed it! The guests for that debate were the Miss Vasantham Girls; Barathi and Yuvaneswari.

Well there was only one main reason these girls were the guests. They were out to get answers for all the trauma they had been through during the Miss Vasantham period. These girls were all written about in many blogs especially one in which they were made very famous. And yes readers, im sure we are all aware of which blog we're taking abt. None other than the all famous KLK blog. So yes who were they going to get their answers for, the reasons to why they were targeted. We had two representatives from KLK, Aarthi and Praba.

The issue on Miss Vasantham got the debate heated up. The vasantham girls were defending themselves while our klk representatives reasoned out everything they wrote. Everything they spoke was thrown to our klk representatives. Explanations flew from one corner of the panel to the other. The opposition panel threw in questions such as social responsibility and the usage of language, how what one writes affects many others. The key idea was that yes you can write, no one is stopping you in that aspect but yet you should know your limits. There is that line to where it should stop, a border each one should have. Points such as the freedom to write and such were mentioned in which they were then questioned that if one could think twice when he or she speaks, why is it then when it is written it does not become such a case.

Things got heated up at certain parts of the shoot and people were shooting each other off. At the end of the day we know we are not going to take things personally. Well hard to say the same thing for the vasantham ladies who throughout the entire show kept going on and on about how they were so badly affected etc.

Overall the show came to a point where it looked more like the debate was on the vasantham girls. But points were made clear in the end. Blog all you want. Yet the key is to structure your words in such a manner that it is not going to affect a certain party in a certain manner. That was something everyone definitely agreed on. We never know how old our readers are. Examples were given such as the usage of the FUCK word. Western influence has definitely changed our society. Yet there is one thing we had to understand. We are not America. Singapore does not provide that basic infrastructure to write all we want. And maybe the day we are given the key to freedom in what we write, this aspect of blogging may definitely change.

Link



And another one whom we are not too sure if was part of the panel. Still the crux of the matter was on her post:

It would be completely unfair of me to define yesterday as just interesting. An experience that was eye-opening and refreshing. The freedom to write and express. Do we have the space to pen down what we truly feel? If iterating our concerns spurns its consequences on others,then what are the limits to freedom of speech? Is freedom of speech, the liberty given to an individual to mention what they wish to? Or is it the liberty given to one to say what they really feel, but with social and moral responsibility a more apt definition to it?

I believe that the ability to express oneself freely is a necessary option. There's no use having the freedom to speak and act when there is no freedom to think. When we have the freedom to process thoughts, we should also contain the ability to act and speak freely, when it concerns others, but with social responsibility.

In the blogging world, personal concerns and experiences do not provide the platform of vulnerability to others except the blogger themselves. When they are ready to face the repercussions, then why is there a need for others to worry? Too much has been said.

Link

Needless to say, just reading these 2 accounts without physically witnessing the recording has got me a tad incensed.

1. The debate was set out to be on whether blogs/bloggers should be totally restricted or not. Clearly, the bringing in of Miss Vasantham finalists was instead setting the scene for a debate of a totally different nature: "Whether we should have spoken about them or not?". Illogical.

A debate of the intended nature would best have been between bloggers, where the community speaks up on what ARE clearly defined limits and what should be left to interpretation. Even if one of those girls had owned a web log, it would have been a fair platform as on their blogs, their opinion, presumably condemning our opinions would have been stated a long time ago.

2. And this is why the proceedings got more heated up than a normal talk show discussion would have been. The stage was already set for one accusatory group and one defending group. This shouldn't have been the crux of the discussion.

3. "Yet the key is to structure your words in such a manner that it is not going to affect a certain party in a certain manner. That was something everyone definitely agreed on". I take great offence at this statement and am appalled if any of the KLKillahs actually agreed.

This be the reason. Brad Pitt, Aishwarya Rai, Shilpa Shetty and Richard Gere may have scores of fans around the globe but yet their detractors still have a voice. The theory is simple, you have a negative opinion, you state it; and vice versa. We did not go out and pluck a virtual unknown we saw at the wet market to relay our comments on. All our chosen "subjects" have come to us! In the form of nationally televised programs, national newspapers and over-the-Internet sources.

Simply put, if I think something is crap, I will state it. It might affect you, you might agree with me, you might not, it might make you cry or even land you in depression, but it's your call to shrug it off or to whine about it. True? "Structuring" of words smacks of unnecessary self-censorship and do we really need to do better than the Censorship Board we already have in our beautiful nation?

4. Usage of "Fuck". We have yet to proclaim that we are a PG or god forbid NC-16 site. If need be, set your parental controls on your PC so your children need not view a word they already would have had at the tip of their tongues since Primary 3. Ask anyone who's anyone, there's a big and satisfying difference between saying "That was fucking pain man! What the fuck did you do that for!" as opposed to "Ouch, that was pain. Whimper."

5. What infrastructure what? You mean to possess freedom of speech without crossing the lines of defamation we would require infrastructure? What infrastructure pray tell me does not exist in Singapore that does in USA where apparently people speak freely?

If the statement was meant to state that culture is still different here and people must hold back on their opinions, then I say, culture evolves with time and space. If not now, in the age of everything "E-", then when? Please don't include us in the group of folks who believe in mass conspiracy theories like "Oh, the gahmen knows who you voted for because of the serial number on the ballot slips". I think this group should best stay away from the Internet. It's bad for their psychological health.

6. And now the praise. The 2nd excerpt points out exactly what we feel. If bloggers are responsible for their words and bear full repercussions for those words, why worry? And even then, KLKillahs is not an anonymous post-it-up site. We each have our identities, and have never taken steps to hide it. This is of course in stark contrast to the detractors who pop in when their Prozac has worn off to post up anonymous comments. I say restrict those blokes. They're the menace to the blogosphere.

Cheers.

pesuvom, vasantham central, blog, blogging, freedom of speech, restriction
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The Indian Vegetarian's chronicles

Don't we all love Indian food! Our mummy's cooking, our restaurants, our packed lunches, our kovil offerings, every little thing that makes up the garangutan whole of Indian food!

Wait a minute. Isn't indian food 'UNHEALTHY'!

I have to report my complete and utter frustration at people who like to examine my packed lunches and wonder just how much poison I am pouring into my veins because I am eating 'INDIAN FOOD'.

The last time I was eating my 'thayir saadam' [yoghurt rice] at work, my colleague thought it was coconut milk porridge.

When I tried to explain to her that we use other ingredients besides coconut milk, she had the cheek to reply "Where got? All Indian food got coconut milk what!" I gave up and went back to eating my thayir saadham.

Then it happened again.

I went to Komalas and bought back some pulisoru [tamarind rice].

Another colleague comes to see what I'm eating. "Oi, what is that ah?" I answered that it is Assam flavoured rice. "Hah? Indian food got such thing meh? I thought you all eat birr-yaaani ony wat?"

Then she asked me if the curry is "fish, chicken or mutton ah?" Hmmm... I told her that it is vegetarian food.

Which makes her stop, think and ask, "So the curry fish, chicken or mutton ah?"

I called my office phone with my handphone to get her out of my cubicle.

But that's not where it stops.

Just yesterday, I was explaining to my doctor that I am a vegetarian.

She then passes the assesment that the reason why I'm falling sick [as I had gastric flu] was because I don't eat meat.

She wants me to start eating more fish and lean meats. She said something like 'Look at the Shaolin monks in China, they are so fit and healthy because of their balanced diet.' She then goes on to talk about "Halal food being easily available everywhere". Errr... my patient card states that I'm HINDU.

I couldn't resist adding there that "I'm Hindu."

She looks at me perplexed, and asks, "So there is no problem there, then why don't you want to eat meat?"

I wanted to add that the Shaolin monks are strictly vegetarian, but I couldn't be bothered.

She wrote my prescription and waved me away.

Dear Singaporeans, please take note of the following.

1) Chapatti is not Roti Prata.

2) Vegetarian does not mean eating raw vegetables.

3) Vegetarians are not on the verge of death, in fact they are pugnaciously healthy and have better skin than the lot of you.

4) Indian food is not limited to roti prata, 'tho-say', fish head curry and birr-yaaani.

To my colleagues: The next time I'm eating my thayir saadham, leave me alone. Unlike the Laksa you polished off at lunch, my thayir saadham is healthy and home made. At least I don't drip COCONUT MILK CURRY all over my shirt.

To my doctor: Please don't dish out advice to patients anymore. You might succeed in killing off one of them. And NO we are not MUSLIM, and NO vegetarian is not the same as being Halal.

To everyone else: Please respect our dietary choices and spare us the inquisition. No WE ARE NOT OBLIGED to explain for the one millionth time why we choose to be vegetarian, and what we can or cannot eat.

Some Indians are Vegetarian. Deal with it.

Indian Fever

You might have read this already, if you subscribe to The Straits Times or actually bother to cough up 80 cents a day for your current affair fix per day instead of queueing at the mamak shop for your "buka rokok" fix. Still, reproduced here for sake of pure hilarity.

Couldn't get the whole article, due to the need to actually PAY to view archives. Article is on Chinese businessmen in Singapore venturing out to India.

Indian Fever hits Chinese Singaporean businessmen
Ravi Velloor, Indian Bureau Chief, Bangalore.
Straits Times, April 18th 2007

Final 5 paragraphs:

Yet, the potential is there for all to see. The Singapore businessmen could not help but notice the massive market on display; an endless stream of people on the move.

Many were also surprised to learn that most of the eager code-writers, scientists and engineers they saw on company visits were all India-educated, testimonial to the depth of tertiary education in the country.

Then, there are the unique cultural characteristics of some parts of India that baffle the uninitiated.

Mr Ting [Niky Ting, CEO of PM-B, company that specializes in customised infrastructure solutions to data centres and other computer rooms], for instance, was curious to know why so many Indian men walked around holding hands.

He was assured it held no special significance. Most of the men were robustly heterosexual.

Maamas in Denial

We often talk about racism and how we've been unfairly judged by the colour of our skin for as long as we could have been. Sadly though, i think that the fault doesn't always just lie with the nearsighted people of other races. In fact, I've come to know of people who belong to this breed i deem M.I.D (Maamas in Denial). Name has been masked to protect identity.

He says: i was quite surprised by the number of photos with indian girls [For the blurred: we figure this is about some girl he's checking out in Friendster]

KLKween says: why? are Indian girls meant to be alienated from society?

He says: hahaha no la

KLKween says: i think its highly disturbing that u keep making indian women the exception..as if chinese girls are the only ones allowed to be clubbing/partying or even living the high life..

He says: i didnt think she would be the type to have a best friend as indian la.. dont worry im not being racist really. fuck im indian.

KLKween says: glad u realised.

He says: really didnt mean anything..okay so what do u think of her

KLKween says: am i supposed to think any differently of her because her best friend is Indian? i know her from primary school..and thats the last i heard of her. not a great age to be making impressions. and she still looks the same as she did in Primary 3..sweet and nice.

He says: right okay.. haha.. dont be upset la!

KLKween says: about? the fact that you're the worst Indian i know? don't worry. that really doesn't upset me.but just for the record ,not all indians - are typical,beer guzzling maamas who sit down and rattle about tamil movies.many of them are actually pretty intellectual and make a lot more sense.

He says: Yes i know that :)

KLKween says: so perhaps its time to really open your eyes and look carefully. for all you know.. that might just be the reason why u keep seeing the BAD girls.cos you keep forgetting that sometimes you should stay a little closer to home..you speak with such condescension when addressing Indian women. I hope for you, you've not had any bad experiences with any Indian girls.. and even so don't make the hasty "Typical indian girl" stereotype. Because at the end of the day, it was an Indian woman who gave birth to you and probably an Indian woman who would sympathise with you when you're in the dumps. She may not be able to keep up with your high end life or wear your little hot shorts or live the whole fuck and throw life. But guess what? She's actually worth it.

He says: i've actually been told that and yes its probably never the same as being with someone of your own kind but i dont write them off..i dont mean to speak with condescension...im sorry if i gave u that impression....

I never understood why Indian women get written off by men. I've never seen as many Indian girls not liking Indian men as i have seen the other way round. Indian women are considered so exotic and beautiful to the likes of people in so many continents. Yet its so sad isn't it that our dark skin(most of us) and our Indian features and our other psychological aspects are simply shunned by our own men. I'll never understand this phenomenon.

But i leave you with a very apt song.

Yogi B and Natchatira - Indian Girls

The Indian Girl's Guide: Episode 1

Now that the Dhool controversies are over, I finally am willing to come out from behind my rock and actually start blogging for KLKillahs again.

Its tough enough being a woman, but God definitely made you out of steel if you’re Indian and woman. We weren’t born with handbooks on how to deal with the boys (with built-in sarakku radars) and kaypoh aunties at weddings who merely want to know if you made it to Medicine like their soda-patti kanaadi daughters [glasses with lenses resembling the bottom of soft drink bottles, old school like]. Fret not for the KLKween is here to solve your woes. The frustration is over. Battle the KLKs and do it with style.

There’s the other bigger issue of being an Indian girl – being called a “Doke”. I’ve tried my level best to find some kind of information as to which KLKockster came up with this term or how it could have possibly evolved to have denoted a slut. Unfortunately, its still a mystery. If there’s anyone out there who has a clue, please kindly get in touch with us. I’ve never quite understood this term or how a woman/girl becomes termed a “Doke”. I’ve been in the position many times before when people have very haphazardly spewed the word out at me or at other women. It is quite disturbing.

Are you a doke because you dance at clubs? Because you go to clubs? Because you’re friendly and you do smile at people without believing they could actually take that as some slut-tendency? It is at this juncture where society rears its ugly head. Ever wondered why there isn’t a male term for a slut? What about a guy who doesn’t quite think of the consequences and would bed anything that has two legs and walks [never mind the walk part, just the being alive part is fine]? Are we so hypocritical that we would go to any level to judge a person merely on the first impression we see? True enough, one might argue that this is prevalent in any society, but honestly speaking I have rarely heard of such a widely existing term as “Doke” in any of the other societies around us.

Would we ever be content with the characters of the women around us? If she’s too stuck up or refuses to smile at you, you would mutter, “Aishwarya Rai-nu periya nenappu”(She thinks she is Aishwarya Rai). If she’s friendly and smiles at you or even makes conversation with you, she immediately gets termed as being easy or being a slut. What does this mean? Should all women just lock themselves up in their rooms till they get married and then live vicariously through their husbands? Or does this mean war? Should we start terming overly friendly men as some kind of sleaze bags?

What is that we want in this society which apparently respects equality? Doesn’t equality imply some sort of equal respect devoted to people regardless of gender? Or are we still stuck in some sort of a caveman mentality where we want to marry a virgin but mess around with the rest of the girls you deem as easy? What shall we do ladies?

I say we fight back. Don’t take it lying down. Firstly, don’t make yourself the enemy. Women who cannot support women are traitors and hypocrites. Don’t sit back and laugh if someone were to term anyone else you know a “doke” for it doesn’t mean that just because they didn’t term you a “doke” that its okay. It doesn’t matter cos you’re a woman too. For the men, remember everytime you deem another woman a slut, you’re merely insulting someone who could have been your mother/sister/daughter or even wife.

Khel Shuru

Contributed by a KLKlanite via e-mail:

Once in a while a film appears that takes you to a new level of difference. You watch it and say to yourself "Bollywood can even make movies like these", simple and refreshing. You don't have to have lavish sets. You don't have to have expensive songs and you don't have to have any recognized talent. All you need is a good original story, genuine actors and an audience tired of stupid, meaningless Bollywood films.

• Selected by numerous international film festivals
  
• Shot in the woods of USA but aired over BBC radio London
  
• Screened all over USA to a surprised audience
  
• The first NRI film production considered worthy by Google Video Management to be internationally distributed on its platform
  

Here is finally, a very much awaited NRI Independent film of 2007

We don't expect people in love with Yash Raj films to like our product. We don't expect people who think Sachin Tendulkar is still the best batsman in the world to appreciate our efforts. Perhaps we have eliminated more than half the industry and you know what... we don't care.

If you like a spice of difference and if you are tired of watching the same old cliched garbage we invite you to watch our film. It would be like renting any other movie but before that

Watch the Trailer
Watch Audience's Reactions

Khel Shuru the Movie

For further information, go on down to www.khelshuru.com

KLKNational Language

Salutaions my fellow KLKlan-ites!

Redefining the KLK-Identity is something I'm sure all our faithful readers must have thought about at one point or another.

As A KLKlan-ite myself, I often find great frustration in the following four alphabets of the english language.

C. M. I. O

In Singapore, KLK-ites are all classified as an ubiqutous 'I', for Indian, lumping us all into one formless nameless entity. Our Department of Statistics defines ‘Indians’ as a ’race’, comprising “persons of Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi or Sri Lankan origin, such as Tamils, Malayalis, Punjabis, Bengalis, Singhalese, etc.” The term 'Indian' therefore refers broadly to people of South Asian descent, rather than those from the Republic of India.

[Interestingly, also applies to Malays in Singapore where they can define race as "Boyanese", "Javanese" etc. Whereas Chinese are simply Chinese with no demarcations of different dialect groups]

Consequently, the Singapore definition of 'race' is problematic for many, and in several cases fails to reflect the culture and ethnic identity people.

And ultimately, this is where all the divisions in our community begin and end.

They call us 'Indian' but what is 'Indian'? It most certainly is not a nationality. Historically, our ancestors came from a place that didn't even exist. India after all was a British possession and not a sovereign nation when most of our forefathers came here.

So why call us Indian?

Is it because we look different?

Then how does one account for North Eastern Indians? Wait a minute, they are 'not indians now are they', they are 'Nepali' or "Gurkha".

As a KLKlan-ite, I feel that the Singaporean Indian identity should move beyond an artificial government appointed classification, and as members of the community, we must seek to define our distinct identities.

And what better place to begin than with a KLKlan-guage?

Diss it as much as you wish, but one can only marvel at the sheer genius of Anjadi speak.

Its a mixture of an almost poetic tamil, english, a mixture of hokkien and malay words and sometimes even Hindi and Punjabi words, which all add up to make for a very lyrical language in its spoken context.

While I don't profess to be big expert of the language, my malayalee accent will spoil the whole effect, I am a huge fan of it.

So now that we have a manifesto and a language in place, as well as a cultural bank [Vasantham Central] [Editor's note: I badly beg to differ that they are a bank of any sort], we are on our way to KLK-unity.

All we need is a KLK-Anthem and a KLK-Pledge.

So my dear readers, how many of you want me to put my muse to use and come up with a KLK Pledge? [If I get enough response, I might be persuaded to make it rhyme]

KLKoaching

We know you do. Scramble to open up dictionary.com whenever you come across a word we write that you have never heard of. Perhaps it is out of spite, in a vain attempt to spell check the KLKillahs but nevertheless unconsciously, you do learn a new word everytime you get around to doing that.

Ever wanted yourself or your child to score in English? Is your kid already attending tuition but the improvements are yet to be seen and you always hear the tutor say this: "I can only come and go auntie, he must put in the effort too!". Or does your kid attend a tuition center where you have no idea what their recruitment process for teachers is?

Legend has it that many part time tutors in big tuition centers are actually only slightly older than their class age. This means you might get a fresh A Level graduate teaching A Level subjects!

The KLKillahs have instituted a new programme to educate. Yes, educate. This time more literally. We have ex- RI/Cedar/JC/NUS/NTU alumni in our midst and are always ready to impart the experience and knowledge we have derived from over 8 years of private tutoring on the average. We also possess a broad network [as can be seen by our superb investigative stories] in procuring hard to find materials to further augment the tutoring process.

One to one, group, crash course tuition are now available for your perusal. Want to write, speak and read like the KLKillahs? Click the picture below.

Terrific Tekka

If you think it's just Yishun or Ang Mo Kio the places that are terrifying, you have got no idea. Just a few days ago, I was rudely distracted by a loud scream. With my neighbours screaming and yelling, I unnervingly opened my door to get a glimpse of the action taking place.

Violence KLK-style took place in Tekka last Sunday [8th April]. Am sure you'd have heard of it if you stayed loyal to the television. Staying in the heart of the Indian traditional hangout, I got an eagle's eye view of the action taking place. Trust me, this is exactly the same thing you would see in a Tamil movie. The only difference is that, this time, it wasn't our beloved Captain Vijayakanth.

Armed with weapons, Indian heroes went on to disfigure a lone ranger. Of course, the Special Operations Command was called in together with a couple of ambulances. Little does everyone know why this mystery man was attacked nor where he was from. I will keep you updated after a special interview with one of the flower shop owners who was involved in this bloodshed.

Police break up armed brawl, ST, Monday, 9 April 2007:

Police were called in to break up a brawl between four men in Serangoon Road last night. The four men, all armed with wooden poles, had earlier damanged several tables belonging to three businesses in Buffalo Road, including the well-known Blue Diamond restaurant, a police spokesman said.

The SCDF was also called in to convey three men who had sustained slight cuts to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. It is not clear what caused the fight. No one has been arrested so far, but investigations are ongoing, the police spokesman added.

While no one has been charged so far, there is concern over the number of cases of rioting and unlawful assembly....

Interestingly, the coverage on Vasantham's Tamil News was way more dramatic featuring interviews with passersby than what the English media has accorded to the event. Already, Praba's eyewitness account differs from the actual news release on what the incident really was.

Still, we're waiting for the real news to trickle in [doesn't it always?] and Praba will be your man on the scene to keep you posted on the thrills and spills in the many lanes that run tributary to Serangoon Road.

Blurb II

After Nal's foray into the local TV medium, the KLKillahs were granted another opportunity to be nationally televised.

The host of Pesuvom, the talk show series on Vasantham, now on for the 4th season has approached the KLKillahs in attending the recording of their next hot "topic": Blogging. We were asked to provide at least one representative to go at it with the anti-blogging camp [Read: people who just can't come to terms with new technology and should stick to gossiping at coffeeshops]

Set to be a debate against pro-blogging and anti-blogging, if you read us, you'd wanna watch those particular shows. Due to work and school commitments, we may or may not accede to their request.

But if we do, we'd be quite happy, for the KLKillahs would have placed our first footprint into the mainstream media. As for our thoughts on the blogging issue; the obvious need not be stated. It insults intelligence.

So, watch out for Pesuvom, Wednesdays at 8 pm, and nudge the bloke next to you [mooch on some wireless if you have to] and get to the KLKillahs site. No Reelu, Ellam Realu.

pesuvom, vasantham, blog, debate
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Man Yoo Thaipusam

And when the pantheon of Hindu gods and goddesses form a footy team. You'd be sure Jose Mourinho and this bloke will be the first ones to be brought in.

thaipusam, singapore, kavadi, manchester united
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Mudhal Payanam

Verite Productions will be filming a new series called Mudhal Payanam [First Journeys] soon. The program involves sending Singaporeans who have not been back to the motherland to seek out their roots. Visit their grandparent's hometown and discover the family they spawned from.

This 13-episode documentary series – done in a reality TV format – follows 13 Singapore Indians on their journeys to find their roots in various parts of India. This subject will have a great interest among the Indian diaspora around the world because of the shared experience. The 13 profiles were chosen from an island-wide audition. They are all Singaporean Indians who come from various parts of India – from Punjab in the North to Kerala in the South.

KLKillahs is proud to announce that our esteemed panellist Nal is one of the few who will be making the trip to India.

Watch out for exclusive blow by blow accounts of her trip right here. For starters, read her post on the beginnings of it all. - HERE. Programme starts on 21st April at 9 pm.

vasantham central, verite productions, first journeys
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KLKillahs Manifesto

With time, the impact of any civilization, ideology, or culture becomes challenged as it migrates from a physical presence to historical remembrance. Empires and kingdoms that spanned half the civilized globe have disintegrated and it's members washed up all over the modern world represented by population percentages now instead of significance.

How quickly many among society may fail to remember the importance of historical events, and how those events still impact our daily lives today. Furthermore, this causes the ideals that past generations stood for to quickly be taken for granted, as their struggles become silently forgotten.

To some extent, such is the current situation of descendants of the world's second most populous nation, India.

As their diasporas are created worldwide, this community in Singapore from every nook and cranny of our grandparents' India, continues to face the common struggle of any minority community: Acceptance without Assimilation.

As seen throughout history, the concept of acceptance relatively does not come with ease. Genocides based on bigotry, massacres based on racism are still present. In today’s media enriched world the unique identity of Indians is often misunderstood. Motion pictures stereotyping our penchant for "song and dance", TV programs choosing to highlight socially unacceptable actions, lack of utilization of the mainstream media to our advantage [entrepreneurship / arts / sporting / social achievements] often present conflicting information to what an Indian really embodies.

At the same time, some among the internal Indian community themselves struggle with the importance and need of their unique identity. This coupled with internal strife and viewable "same race racism" has only added to the intensity of the issue at hand.

These obstacles have plagued Singaporean Indians as they go about their daily lives under the umbrella of certain racial stereotypes. These may include: The Indian Mother In Law, The Indian Auntie, The Indian Drunk, The Indian Wife Beater, The Indian Street Runt [Anjadi], The Indian Expat, The Indian Student etc. Some of these stereotypes shocking to note are much self-induced and propagated.

Members of the community have also either assimilated into the mainstream by removing their identity, or have altered their identity to maintain segregation from the general group. I.e. Reiterating that one is Tamil, Malayalee, Punjabi or Sindhi etc. as opposed to "Indian". Worst of all, these tactics of assimilation are going unreciprocated, as the Indian community remains silent.

In an attempt to expound, substantiate, and valuate the obstacles faced by the Singapore Indian community, it is the intent of KLKillahs to provide a potential voice in order to break the silence. This intent is best served by using the internet as our podium.

The sole purpose of KLKillahs is to provide a creative, humour infused take on local Indian happenings, with an emphasis on current and social affairs, to help promote a positive image for all Indians. This is not an exclusive community neither is it a forum for only the "known" contributors. In due time, KLKillahs hopes to grow to be the first stop for any information resource on anything Singapore Indian in nature.

Are you with us?