KowCents

-Traditional Corporation-
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.

-An American Corporation-
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

-A French Corporation-
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

-A Japanese Corporation-
You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.

-A German Corporation-
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

-A British Corporation-
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

-A Russian Corporation-
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

-A Swiss Corporation-
You have 5,000 cows and none belongs to you.
You charge others for storing them.

-A Chinese Corporation-
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

-An Indian Corporation-
You have two cows.
You worship them.

-A Malaysian Corporation-
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

-A Singaporean Corporation-
You have two cows.
One is COW-PEH and the other COW-BU.

status quo

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program

Leong Wee Keat
weekeat@mediacorp.com.sg

IT'S a crime with age-old roots that has infiltrated high-tech avenues.
.
And to send a "strong message" to culprits, the laws are being changed so that racial insults made over the electronic media, such as the Internet, will soon be considered an offence under the Penal Code.
.
The Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) said this amendment "would provide another legislative option to deal with future offenders".
.
In 2005, prosecutors had to resort to a rarely-used legislation, the Sedition Act, to bring criminals to book when three men were separately accused of promoting racial ill-will and hostility through comments posted on blogs and online forums.
.
Under the soon-to-be revised Penal Code, a person who knowingly causes religious or racial disharmony, or promotes ill will between different groups on the grounds of religion and/or race, could be jailed up to three years or fined, or both.
.
For racial or religious aggravated offences, penalties could also be increased by one-and-a-half times.
.
The MHA said this approach is similar to that taken for enhanced penalties for certain offences committed against maids.
.
"This new section will help to preserve the social harmony which our country enjoys and send a strong message to any person who may try to disrupt social harmony," said the MHA.
.
Brother Michael Brough-ton, a member of the Inter-Religious Organisation, said such laws would enforce "external conformity" and "hasten the education process".
.
"In Singapore, I guess the way things work is that a law enforces it first," he said. But he believed education was still the key to achieving racial harmony.
.
"We want our younger ones to grow up internalising the principle," said Brother Broughton, a deputy principal of St Joseph's Institution. Leong Wee Keat
weekeat@mediacorp.com.sg

IT'S a crime with age-old roots that has infiltrated high-tech avenues.
.
And to send a "strong message" to culprits, the laws are being changed so that racial insults made over the electronic media, such as the Internet, will soon be considered an offence under the Penal Code.
.
The Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) said this amendment "would provide another legislative option to deal with future offenders".
.
In 2005, prosecutors had to resort to a rarely-used legislation, the Sedition Act, to bring criminals to book when three men were separately accused of promoting racial ill-will and hostility through comments posted on blogs and online forums.
.
Under the soon-to-be revised Penal Code, a person who knowingly causes religious or racial disharmony, or promotes ill will between different groups on the grounds of religion and/or race, could be jailed up to three years or fined, or both.
.
For racial or religious aggravated offences, penalties could also be increased by one-and-a-half times.
.
The MHA said this approach is similar to that taken for enhanced penalties for certain offences committed against maids.
.
"This new section will help to preserve the social harmony which our country enjoys and send a strong message to any person who may try to disrupt social harmony," said the MHA.
.
Brother Michael Brough-ton, a member of the Inter-Religious Organisation, said such laws would enforce "external conformity" and "hasten the education process".
.
"In Singapore, I guess the way things work is that a law enforces it first," he said. But he believed education was still the key to achieving racial harmony.
.
"We want our younger ones to grow up internalising the principle," said Brother Broughton, a deputy principal of St Joseph's Institution. Leong Wee Keat
weekeat@mediacorp.com.sg

IT'S a crime with age-old roots that has infiltrated high-tech avenues.
.
And to send a "strong message" to culprits, the laws are being changed so that racial insults made over the electronic media, such as the Internet, will soon be considered an offence under the Penal Code.
.
The Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) said this amendment "would provide another legislative option to deal with future offenders".
.
In 2005, prosecutors had to resort to a rarely-used legislation, the Sedition Act, to bring criminals to book when three men were separately accused of promoting racial ill-will and hostility through comments posted on blogs and online forums.
.
Under the soon-to-be revised Penal Code, a person who knowingly causes religious or racial disharmony, or promotes ill will between different groups on the grounds of religion and/or race, could be jailed up to three years or fined, or both.
.
For racial or religious aggravated offences, penalties could also be increased by one-and-a-half times.
.
The MHA said this approach is similar to that taken for enhanced penalties for certain offences committed against maids.
.
"This new section will help to preserve the social harmony which our country enjoys and send a strong message to any person who may try to disrupt social harmony," said the MHA.
.
Brother Michael Brough-ton, a member of the Inter-Religious Organisation, said such laws would enforce "external conformity" and "hasten the education process".
.
"In Singapore, I guess the way things work is that a law enforces it first," he said. But he believed education was still the key to achieving racial harmony.
.
"We want our younger ones to grow up internalising the principle," said Brother Broughton, a deputy principal of St Joseph's Institution.

KLK Killadi II

One word. Brilliance.

Tamil Theatre of Shakespearian Proportions

Titus Andronicus, or The Most Lamentable Romaine Tragedie of Titus Andronicus, may be Shakespeare's earliest tragedy. It depicts a fictional Roman general engaged in a cycle of revenge with his enemy Tamora, the Queen of the Goths. The play is by far Shakespeare's bloodiest work, taking its inspiration from the tragedies of Seneca the Younger (the Senecan Tragedies) of Ancient Rome, the gory theatre that was played to bloodthirsty circus audiences between gladiatorial combats. The play lost popularity during the Victorian era because of its gore, and has only recently begun to revive its fortunes.

Miror Theatre
In Collaboration With
Ravindran Drama Group
& The Esplanade

presents

" THONDAN"
(In literary Tamil with English subtitles)

An archaic ritual practice spawns an unimaginable spiral of revenge, carnage and tragedy! This gripping nail-biter of a story from Shakespeare's earliest tragedy Titus Andronicus, takes a new meaning and form in an exciting adaptation by Miror Theatre - the first time the play has been translated into literary Tamil.

Plot aside, 'Thondan', takes its form from physical theatre and traditional Indian performing art forms – including the traditional Kerala martial art form, Kalari Payet, Therukoothu (a form of street theatre) and Koodiyaatam . A potent mixture of various Indian art forms with a contemporary twist, Thondan promises to be a visual treat as well as a complete theatrical experience.

Featuring Vasantham Central veterans & award-winning artistes including , Elias, Eranien, G Selvanathan, Kalpana, Karthik, Narges Banu, Puravalan, Rasheed, Rethinavelu, Sivakumar Palakrishnan, Sounderarajan, Vicknesvari Vadivalagan, Vickneswaran, Vishnu, Vadi PVSS and many more.

Titus Andronicus was translated by Elavazhagan Murugan

THONDAN
Written by Elavazhagan Murugan
Co Written and Adapted and Directed
by Vadi PVSS.

"Come into the world of 'Thondan', where intrigue, treachery and vengeance will keep you on the edge of your seat!"

KALAA UTSAVAM
The Esplanade Indian Arts Festival
Theatre Studio
Nov 23-25 ; 7 pm shows daily
$27 (adult) $22 (Student/ NSF concession— NAC—AEP Grants Pending ) -
Tickets Includes 7% gst & SISTIC $2 charge - tickets now available at all SISTIC Outlets—SISTIC Hotline: 65576557.
Or Call Caroline at 81564723 to book your tickets now!

Miss?ed? - A Radical Play about Marriage in the Yindian Community

The play ‘Miss?ed?’ mainly highlights the importance of marriage and marrying the right person. At present, in the Indian community, a high divorce rate is more worrying than high single rate and yet, too often our society has a negative view of single-hood. The society sees single-hood like a state that cannot be changed - an immortal condition destined to bring unfulfillment. The play questions whether an individual’s happiness in life is based on their marital status.

The play examines if single women are given the time to make the right choice in their life when it concerns marriage or are they conformed by social conditions. With wit, the play explores how singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and pressurized to get married and the many reasons for their singlehood.

Miss?ed?, a thought provoking play, looks into issues such as financial security, an individual’s potential for growth, relationships, trust, betrayal, autonomy, power and also the price an individual has to pay because of some selfish and inquisitive people in our society.


When: 3rd to 5th August 2007
Time: 8pm
Venue: The Arts House (Old Parliament House)
Cost: $21 (adults) $16 (Students)
For tickets: 9475 3392 / 9229 9649

Komalas, Are You Listening?

Hi Everyone,

I came across this letter in today's ST Online edition. It seemed amusing!

Mutton Biriyani in a Vegetarian Restaurant?

ON A recent visit to Komalas restaurant, I noticed that it has introduced a dish called mutton biryani.

The response I got when I enquired further on this item was that it was 'vegetarian mutton', followed by 'Don't eat if you don't want'.

I fail to understand how mutton biryani can be vegetarian.

Many people go to Komalas, thinking that it is a fully vegetarian restaurant as they have reservations about mixing vegetarian and non-vegetarian dishes.

Komalas needs to clarify if its restaurant is a fully vegetarian one and the ingredients used in all its preparations are also the same.

A. Srinivas
17 July 2007
ST Online

This is an issue of poor customer service more than anything else. If the person taking orders had been kind enough to mention that the 'mutton' was made from soy, vegetable gluten and other vegetable products, I think Mr. Srinivas might not have gotten so upset.

Maybe they should have better informed people manning the cash register! Or at least those who are polite enough to refrain from saying 'if you don't want, don't order'.

As someone who frequents vegetarian restaurants myself, I can tell you that Anand bavan, the other big indian vegetarian restaurant chain in Singapore also serves 'mock meat' on its menu. The stark difference between the two restaurants is that Anand Bavan advertises the 'benefits' of eating 'soy meat', and has educated its staff to answer customer queries.

Komalas might do well to take a leaf from Anand Bavan's book!

On the issue of mock meat itself, I have very mixed views. On one hand, I am not about to dismiss out of hand the health benefits that soy based products offer. As a vegetarian gourmand however, I find the idea of 'mock meat' very limiting. The challenge of cooking with vegetables is something that marks the true gourmet giants of Indian cuisine.

Did you know for example, that Hotel Saravanabavan in Chennai has over 120 varieties of DOSAI alone? In case you were wondering, Hotel Saravanabavan a vegetarian restaurant. One in which you are required to queue for two and a half hours in a mile long queue in the sweltering heat to get a place to eat.

My great grandmother, my grandmother and my mother have been cooking and eating 'meatless' all their lives. I will probably inherit their recipies and their proud traditions as well, and I will pass them down to my own children.

Ultimately, I am not in a position to comment on the virtues of a vegetarian palette over a meat eating one since I don't eat meat myself.

However, let me add that KOMALAs could be a little more creative in naming their dish. Mock Mutton Biriyani seems decent enough to me; at least you inform people that this isn't the real thing.

Guest Column: Kalpana

Now, it is one of our new initiatives to get a hold of local luminaries and/or members of the media to set about writing us a guest column so to speak. The credibility issues unfold both ways. In our first instalment, Ms. Kalpana, host of "Pesuvom" affirms and rebutts points that have already been thrown up in the air, diced with Ginsu knives and pounded in our "ammi"s. Still, late but not too late.

Vanakkam! This is Kalpana from the Talk Show “Pesuvom” which some of you may have seen on Vasantham Central. First of all, I have to thank the good folks of KLK who have given me the opportunity to be a part of this blog. I have to say that I am quite excited and more nervous, as I am not used to writing for many to witness.

When I was thinking about the 1^st topic to write about, many things came to mind but why not start about the much talked about show where the subject matter was blogging.

I read the reviews written by the members of KLKillahs as well as the reviews that the topic generated.

Here are my thoughts.

Personally blogging is a great channel for many to express their thoughts. It is basically an online magazine that is updated everyday. However, I think we need to know the objective of such a blog or magazine. What are we trying to achieve? To be very honest, I am still lost at what is actually achieved by a blog.

1. The articles about the programmes and the personalities. Some of the panellists who appeared on the programme had mentioned that the comments on blogs must have been encouraging and not demeaning. Fair enough! But the moment we take the stage, we must be ready for criticisms, good or bad. If you cannot take the heat, Stay away from the media.

2. As for the criticism of programmes, yes, they have been harsh too. But I think, we as the Media folks have to take it positively and look forward to giving better programmes. I honestly feel it is time for a change. It is time for the “NO GUTS NO GLORY” kind of attitude to come in and completely turn around the Tamil Programmes of Singapore

3. Expletives. Great writers and great speakers reach out to the common man and woman. They stay away from expletives and I believe so should we. What is the point? What are we trying to achieve? It shows a lack of class and a lot more emotional instability. Yes, you have freedom of expression, but why not use it wisely.

4. People writing about themselves. I think it is a good channel to let out some angst. I do not see any other good in it. It is up to the people of course. It is not all about the other people knowing about lives, but about the perception we give them. Most of the tmr, the thoughts that are encouraged in their heads when they read such blogs is: Do we really need to go there? Of course our reply could be, “why do I care?”. The answer is then ”Why do you write if you do not care?”.

Blogging is cool and it reaches out to many. Why not make it positive? We can follow the examples of the National Enquirer, or the E Channel or other gossip magazines, or we can choose to model the better ones. Why do we do this?

For awareness or is it an outlet for us to express ?

Cheers
Kalpana

Every Woman, Every Man

Ghost Particle decides he is the SME [subject matter expert] on gender inequality. And I think this is an "A" essay which oughta be photocopied and analyzed by all GP students. Though, it was written with an Indian woman in mind, it's applicable across the board.

As we stop reflecting an age of war and violence, we look back into our roots and culture. Where do we come from are defined immaculately by who we are, Man and Woman. We have come a long way in terms of what we often hear as gender equality, equal rights and anti-violence against women. Nowadays, everything is summarized into its basics, what a man needs and what a woman needs.

But despite all this, despite the days and ages of going round and round the same matter trying to pin point the problems and defining the mistakes, we did not look to solve the problems. What's prevalent these days are hot issues such as women rights but not the real underlying issue of who wants those 'rights'. What more, in the days of blogs and push button publishing, everyone can put forth a 'slam dunk' post about how men are evil and at the same time push ahead their agenda of looking better in the eyes of the reader. Eyes they may have, front or back, but the problems are not solved.

Maybe a hundred years ago, the mutiny of women was less recognized because the popular press was men dominated, but today the voices of women are heard and understood every second of the day. This is to say, the problems are solving themselves, people are coming to reason and we are gearing towards a human-centric future rather than dominance issues. When they were pushed to fight back, they were sidelined most inhumanly and disgraced. Blame the devils of the men who were our predecessors and ugly ancestors. Blame more on the scriptures and ways of God which carved a highway for men and left a gravel road for women. Recall back and you would understand that even in temples, women throng to praise the Gods of the day, even when they understood that the evil against them came from the pawns and managers of Gods. But among these, before God, there must have been a culture of violence.

So we peered back into days when we were infants in the eyes of time and then and there were no violence of hate or religion against women but lust and envy. Dominance was prevalent and then culture came as a savior. What we can summarize is that we solved problems, in many ways to ensure that no one is left behind or pushed. The history of violence is still present in homes and offices, but then there is a new generation of men and women who are working a way to stop this and eliminating is forever, impossible it may be.

You may hate me or love me for this post, but the reason is simple. The next time you write something called 'why question my ways- I'm a woman' or " why do men always go on an orgasmic dream of violating every woman out there', think again whether you are right or wrong. You may have glanced out of your kitchen window of a husband slapping his wife, you may read the sardonic press going on a pleasure ride describing the rape victims and you may cry in fear at home. But do you feel everything is all right by describing all animals of God out there who are male of being a devil?


Ok, maybe its not as simple as that, not trying to vindicate all things male, not trying to trash all women, but do we really understand what freedom we want? The Women of today are independent, strong and capable. The Women of yesterday were independent, strong and capable and most importantly prolonged and cherished the culture they are born into. Can I safely summarize that some women today, through their actions of demanding 'pop-freedom' are actually devising ways to escape from their roots? Throw away the archaic culture to experience another future of slavery, not from males, but from the burdens of the world?

What freedom do you want? Many single mothers out there need help because of a systematic deficiency in the male brain that triggers them to dump bonds when trouble strikes. We do feel the pain, we do read stories of children working to support a family the father should have done. Then we read stories of the many strong mothers who prevailed and brought up the successful family. Why in these cases we worked together to recognize the help some need and we did work together, men or women to bring them out of rut but when the time comes, its all male bashing? The root of the matter is that people need help, and we must look beyond the gender in giving the helping hand. Can I, safely summarize that some women need help and men can give that help? As is true that some men need help and women can offer that help?

My question is, all this is happening, the needy, the person who needs to see the light of the day, there are people who are sacrificing their lives to safeguard a future for their children, but why don't the warrior princesses ever look at their stories, but go on a ego trip to justify their own bubble universe? We dont have to look far to see the many young women who are independent and bold in the blog land. I can name a few I know, but in danger of leaving out some...please do have a look at my blog roll. The issue is simple, they are rooted, they are grounded and they love life. They dont sensationalize and they don't go on a pointless list orgasm of everything right about females and wrong about men in their writings.

This is a never ending issue, it's not meant to end, let this be a start. When you write your post of anything, of Mothers' day, of your friends, female or male, of a success story, look deep into the real people who make the difference. Don't fall in the same trap as some do out there to glorify a dead issue and to prime a stale story. I hate it when I flip the blogs and find posts of vagabond flavors dominating their blogs when they are wrong. Get it? Dead wrong. Please dont disgrace and detach your brains from the real world where real women have succeeded.

Big Bad Bus Uncle

And again, the KLKillahs always get you the hottest news first. Fingers in every pie. The community's pulse through our veins.

The New Paper, "Call cops & I'll kill you", June 2nd 2007

YOU can call him the Singapore bus uncle.

Like his infamous Hong Kong counterpart, his antics, filmed by a commuter, have been making its rounds on the Internet in the last few months.

The notorious 'bus uncle' tag came about last year after a middle-aged Hong Kong man was filmed scolding a fellow passenger who had tapped him on the shoulder because he had been talking too loudly on his handphone.

In this case, the Singapore bus uncle got into a heated argument with the bus captain after he allegedly did not pay the fare.

The man, shouting vulgarities, threw a punch but hit the wall panel just behind the driver.

During his tirade at the driver, which went on for more than a minute, he even threatened to kill the bus captain.

The man said loudly to the driver: 'You not happy with... or what? Why you do this to us?

'So far when I was young until now, nobody ask me to scan twice, you know. If I don't scan, I put coins, you think what? I don't have coins ah?'

As the man worked himself up, the driver could also be heard in the background using vulgarities, which provoked the passenger further.

The man then shouted at the driver: 'You call police, you call police, you bloody ******. I will kill you, you know.

'He only shout you know, but I will kill you, you want or not? You want a funeral today? You want or not?

'You call the police, you call,' he challenged the driver, as he swung a punch at the wall panel next to the driver.

SECOND ABUSIVE COMMUTER

The unruly passenger was then pulled away by someone believed to be his brother-in-law, but not before the latter too, added to the fray and boasted to the driver,

'I already go prison, I already go prison,' he said.

Meanwhile, this uncle continued: '******, you think what?'

The man's lasts words before he stepped off the bus: 'I tell you, I not satisfied, I will kill you.'

Strangely though, another video clip which was titled 'Part 2' showed the brother-in-law on board the bus.

This time, he hurled abuse at the driver from the back of the bus, as he paced a few steps up and down the aisle.

He could be heard shouting in a mixture of Hokkien vulgarities and Malay: 'You want to see ****** or what? Not scared lah, police you bring, anytime... I never run.'

The bus driver could also be heard in the background retaliating with vulgar words, and threatening to call the police.

Who do you think this is? One of our EZlink Mango Makkehs of course. Men in first and second videos.

Break Time

We've taken a short break to assess the need to tackle rising Kopi-O prices and investigate why curry leaves are given free with every purchase in Tekka [do they really have no value?].

Also, full time work is quite a bitch, especially when you're not equipped with an Internet connection.

We're back as of tomorrow. And we might be announcing new plans. KLKillahs is undergoing a corporate and human resource transformation in line with the 3rd Generation workforce.

Good day now.

Nal's Mudhal Payanam - Part 3

Day Three - Vaideeswaram

Yet another temple town, Vaideeswaram is the “olai chuvadi” capital of the world. Using an ancient text to tell your history as well as your future, these guys belong to a special clan that has safeguarded these texts for 1000s of years. These texts, written on palm leaves, used a kind of archaic Tamil script that only people in that clan can still read. So they make quite a killing reading these texts to people who either want to know their history, or their future.

If you remember, the point of my trip was to trace my history, so we went to one of these guy to see if he could shed some light on my ancestors. Finding him was hard because there was literally a whole street of these guys in Vaideeswaram, all claming to be the original. (Sounds a bit like the whole Papa Roti thing, doesn’t it?) But in the end, a call to my dad’s friend Rajendran solved the problem. It helps to have friends in high places.


Outside Vaideeswaram temple, we were swamped by the ubiquitious pest of India – beggars. They hang around the temple hoping people’s piety will move them to pity. I was warned sternly by Malar and John NOT to give them money. They said, if you really want, you can give them food – biscuits or buns – but chances are they will reject it. Apparently most of them belong to a syndicate that feeds them, but makes them beg for their keep.


I had to test it out. I had bought some packets of food (prasadam) from the temple, which I didn’t want to eat. I offered it to this beggar lady with 2 children, but she refused to take it and kept asking me for money instead. Now, if I was a mother with 2 hungry children, I would take any food that comes my way, especially when it’s still piping hot.

Lesson learned.


Vaideeswaram is a small town, well supported by the astrology business. But there really wasn’t much else to do there. So after we got all the footage we needed, we left and headed for Pondicherry for dinner and the long drive back to Chennai.


We reached the ultra comfortable Raj Palace Hotel at about 9:30 on Sunday night. With the most strenuous part of the shoot behind us, we could relax, enjoy a good dinner (Chicken fried rice washed down with several gimlets), and entertain each other with horror stories from the media industry. I found out that John was the CEO for a cable channel called SS music, before life on the road called him back to sound engineering.


And Malar has worked in almost every major city in India and South East Asia, including Singapore, where he holds an employment pass.

Day Four – Chennai


Finally, the last day of shooting. All the shoots today are in Chennai, so we had a little bit of time for some shopping in the evening. But before that, I got to experience the colour and vibrancy of what is touted to be now the best Indian city to live in.


Beggars, cows and pollution. I didn’t really find any of these a problem. I don’t know if I just looked unapproachable or what, but there weren’t a lot of encounters with beggars in Chennai. I saw more beggars in the small towns, strangely enough, just outside temples. There were still street and slum dwellers, in rags, and with children in throngs around them, but they seem to be gainfully employed. I was glad to see that.


The ubiquitious cows were everywhere, but they were quite grazing in little grassy alcoves, rather than obstructing traffic or terrifying hapless tourists (aka me). It just wouldn’t be India without the cows.

As for pollution, I noticed something really interesting. Women would sweep their houses clean of dust and debris, then gather the said pile of dust and dump it just outside their houses, where the wind will blow it in again during the course of the day.


A lot of the rubbish is also organic. Indians use natural resources a lot more than we do here – banana leaves instead of paper plates, palm leaf baskets instead plastic bags and cow dung instead of pesticides. Yes, there are plastic bottles, cans and other man made rubbish as well, but for city as large as Chennai is, they must either have a lot less trash or much more efficient waste disposal teams. But there is no doubt that India is the original recycling society. People save and reuse everything, which is really admirable.

I felt that politics and cinema drive the city more than then many temples, spiritual gurus and ancient texts and books. Everywhere you look, they are posters of political luminaries. Actors endorse everything from Aircel mobile networks to pumps for agricultural use. And the people are such big fans of some of the actors, that apparently in the cinema the film reel operator has to stop the reel in order to accommodate the whistling and celebrating that goes on once the hero appears. I wish I had time to have experienced this, but sadly, it didn’t happen. But the next time I surely will.

Chennai has been an eye opener. The memory I had of the city I visited 17 years ago remains an old and distance memory, the way you remember your grandma when you were 5. As I have grown, Chennai has grown along with me, infinite in beauty, wisdom and grace. This is not to say that it’s perfect, no place is, but its faults have been exaggerated more than its virtues. The people are gentle and hospitable, I wasn’t eve-teased, rubbed up against or even gawked at even once. The food is amazing, with enough variety to keep foodies like me happy for a long time.

My heart is full. I am so glad I came. Chennai, you have a part of my heart, and you will see me again.

Nal's Mudhal Payanam - Part 2

Day Two – Sirkazhi


After a quick and excellent breakfast of thosai and the best tea I have ever had, we set out for Sirkazhi, the town my great grandfather came from. I was supposed to meet my dad’s friend, Rajendran who lives there. He in turn helped me to find all the possible connections to my dad’s family. If not for him, I would probably still be there, looking for my roots.



We went to the house of this old priest of the local temple, who was said to remember my great grandfather. This man was 95 years old, and still had a memory that was sharp as a knife. He is retired from his priestly duties, but lives with his daughter’s family in the same house he had lived in since he was born.

I was excited to visit the house, because:
1) it would be my first visit into a village house, and
2) my first visit to a orthodox Brahmin house.

I tried to remember all the “rules” of orthodoxy regarding visiting a Brahmin household. I am glad to say none of them were true. They welcomed us with kindness, offered us a place to sit on a bench, and some ice cold water to drink.


(A short note on drinking water in India. I was told NEVER to drink the tap water. The crew bought many bottles of mineral water and an ice cooler, so we were well watered throughout the journey. But, when you go to someone’s house, and all they have is water, from the tap, how to say no without being rude? The last thing I want is to be remembered as the uppity Singapore girl who won’t even wet her lips in our house. So I drank their water when it was offered. I said a blessing over it, and drank whole heartedly. And didn’t suffer so much as a stomach ache from it. )


The house looked exactly like the kind you see in Tamil movies. A U shaped covered house with a small open air courtyard in the middle, where they had the Tulasi tree and the water pump. In the back, there is a well and a general washing area. These people were considered affluent because they had electricity, running water, and a fridge. The floors were cement and the walls brick. The roof was wood and attap, and kept the house cool and comfortable. 6 people lived in that house, which is the size of my living room. Amazing. With no separate rooms for married couples, how on earth did they make 2 children. The mind boggles.


The next house I visited was the one my great grandfather built. It has been around for about 100 years and is based on the same U shaped with courtyard plan. My uncle and aunty who still live there have electricity, but no fridge, and no running water. And my uncle works in a bank!

Meeting my relatives was an experience in itself and I will leave it to the show to tell the story. But walking into the house that I could have been born in was overwhelming. I can describe it adequately, and won’t even try.


Night Two – Chidambaram

Since Sirkazhi is such a small town, they don’t have any hotels that will fulfil the creature comforts stipulated by the crew. So we spent the night in Chidambaram, a slightly larger temple town that was a 2 hour drive away. I was so exhausted – drained physically by the 8 hour shoot in the broiling sun and emotionally by meeting my relatives – that I took a shower and went straight to bed. It’s only the next morning that I realized that the hotel we stayed at was called the Raffles Hotel! The irony was not lost on me. I’m not complaining because it had a clean bed and aircon, which is all I needed, but they were little short on the marble flooring and jazz quarter, what.

The hotel also did not have room service, so the guys had to go out to get some take away food. One of the things I really enjoyed about this trip was that I was with a bunch of people who were serious meat eaters like me. Which is really good because India has very good non-vegetarian cusine offer. The meat is usually fresh, not frozen, so it tastes different and absorbs the flavours of the spices better.

Now, I know a lot of you are frowning because you think I did something stupid and dangerous, but for the record, I did not get any digestive disorders while I was in India. No Delhi belly, nothing. 2 out of 3 meals were non-vegetarian. For breakfast, we went to a veg restaurant, but only because breakfast foods like thosai and idly are much better there.


If I have any complains about India, it’s this. The sun rises really early in the morning. By about 5:45 a.m., it is peeking into my room. Being used to waking at dawn in Singapore (6:30a.m.), I was like WTH when I found myself rising at 5:30 or so. So from then till my actual wake up call (8:00), it was my time with the wonders of Indian television. I was pleasantly surprised to find a TV channel dedicated to Christian programming – songs, sermons and services – in both Tamil and English. Belonging to a secular state like Singapore, it came as quite a treat, really.

Nal's Mudhal Payanam - Part 1

Itinerary

Day 1 – Chennai to Pondicherry
Day 2 – Pondicherry to Sirkazhi
Day 3 – Sirkazhi to Vaideeswaram
Day 4 – Vaideeswaram to Chennai
Day 5 - Singapore

They also building MRT.

Day One

I landed in Chennai airport at 10 a.m. and already the heat was searing through my skin. It was Agni Natchathiram, the hottest day in the year, although I didn’t know that at the time.

Good thing Kannan, the Assistant Director from Verite Productions was there with an air conditioned Chevrolet, so I didn’t suffer too long in the heat. It did make me think about how the people who cannot afford air conditioning survive this season.

We went to Raj Palace Hotel where I met the rest of the crew – Hameed, who of course I know from poly days, Malarvannan, the cameraman , and John Fernandez, the sound guy. Both Malar and John are Chennai natives (Chennaivites? Chennaaiwals?) , although they have both travelled the world extensively as professionals in their field. My episode of Mudhal Payanam was in good hands.

Before heading out of the city, we stopped for lunch – at Liu’s Chinese Cuisine. The two Singaporean guys, Kannan and Hameed were tired of eating Indian food and were dying for a change in palate, and this was their last chance to get some Chinese food before we headed for the rural countryside. So my first meal in India was steamed Thai rice, sweet and sour pork, chili beef and chap chai! Go figure eh.

At about 4:30, we headed out of Chennai further south toward Pondicherry. On our way out, we saw busloads of people with strange black and red flags on the windows coming into the city. Apparently some minister was getting honoured for 50 years of active political career, so the prime minister and president of India were coming down to some meeting to felicitate him. His followers also took it at a personal invitation and descended on Chennai in their thousands. Malar said it’s good thing we were leaving for a few days, because just the traffic snarls would tie up any travel plans for a while.

Even on the other side of the road, we were moving at a snail’s pace, because the more important followers of that minister were allowed to drive on the opposite side, towards oncoming traffic. Our driver Kumar played chicken so many times, I stopped counting. I just know that by the time my journey ended, I had almost broken the hand grip in the car.

Traffic rules are more of a suggestion than the law here.

Night One – Pondicherry

Being on a road trip like this one, it’s impossible to tell where we are going to be when night falls. Therefore making hotel reservations was out of the question. Therefore 2 hours of our night in Pondicherry was spent driving around, looking for a hotel to stay. Most hotels were full for two reasons – 1) Pondicherry is a kind of a party town where young Chennai natives go for a wild weekend of drinking and partying and 2) Because of the political meeting, even more people decided to leave the city and Pondi is the nearest destination.

Tons of buses streaming into the city for the political event.

By 9:30, we still hadn’t got a room and I was beginning to panic. I know how Mary and Joseph felt, not that I was about to have a baby, but the part of being tired and stopping at every inn and not finding room to rest. Finally Malar called one of his friends, who told us to try a place called Shanti Inn. It was on a street that we had already driven by twice, but we didn’t see it because at the street level, you only see the door. The rest of the hotel is on the 2nd – 5th floors. The rooms were clean and air conditioned, the bathroom looked recently washed and the bed was comfortable. We decided to stay.

Pondicherry Cop. Still in French inspired uniforms.

Dinner was room service, although no one had much of an appetite from all that traveling. Ok, honestly, that was not the reason. Pondicherry is apparently some kind of tax haven for alcohol. A bottle of Smirnoff vodka only cost SGD$16. So everyone decided to camp out in my room and have a few bottles of the stuff, “to help to relax”. They were so relaxed, I had a hard time kicking them out, because I wanted to sleep. Tomorrow we go to Sirkazhi, a big day for me. I needed to sleep.

First Indian India meal.

Before I end this post, a word about Indian TV. Firstly, I love the fact that every channel has people who look just like me – beautiful Indian girls endorsing products in ads and good looking men reading the news. And the ads are really a lot more creative and sometimes risqué then what we get in Singapore. There is this one ad where the opening sequence is a medium shot of a woman, waist up, squatting on something and bouncing up and down with her eyes closed. The next shot is a long shot of her rinsing out the pair of pants she had just washed by hand, and turning to show it to the camera. It was an ad for washing soap.

And these people had a problem with Richard Gere kissing Shilpa Shetty? What the…?

Sex and nudity is not really an issue in India. People are bathing in public places all the time, the men wearing a little less than a thong and the women a sheer sari or cloth that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. The problem was probably that Richard was an old geezer, kissing a young nubile woman. Yeah, I think that was probably it.

Equal Employment

A KLKallout from Shaheen via e-mail:

Dear all,

All of you have always complained of inequality, injustice, racism, lack of democracy, lack of freedom of speech and expression. Well, here is a golden opportunity to shout and scream out loud and demand the fairness you as positive, constructive, moral, law-abiding and righteous citizens deserve. They have allocated 30 mins on national radio (read below). Its a scratch. To just merely make this scratch however, a lot of effort, struggle, sacrifice and pain has been confronted on the parts of those who have earned this much discussion on a sensitive issue indeed to say the least in our great Republic.

Now I dare each of you to make your voices heard. If you don't make your voices heard now, this issue will die down for another 42 years, perhaps so that your children and their children will suffer a fate likely worse than you have suffered in terms of discrimination, inequality and denial of equity: Voices on radio . A new set of guidelines on fair employment practices was announced earlier this month, but critics have called for these suggestions to be made mandatory, rather than leave it up to employers to enforce. In the past week, readers have chimed in that legislation has been implemented in other areas to great effect, namely against littering and chewing gum, so why not one on fair employment?

Tune in to 938LIVE's Talkback from 8.15am to 8.45am tomorrow for a debate on the issue highlighted in Today. Call 6691 1938 to share your views

Call them up and let them know we want legislation, we want a law against unfair employment practices. May God be with us.

Search It

It's quite amazing how netizens actually chance upon us. The great game of randomness. These were some search terms that got them here a few days back.


But of course, the original KLKillahs generated a tad more search hits. Example:

In other news, the great nemesis Analyze KLKillahs has since died-ed. 5 posts in 2 days. And then we're stil waiting for his 7 cents worth 12 days on. Clock is ticking.

Nal, has also just departed to start filming her Mudhal Payanam episode. We wish her to be safe and possibly find out why appalams were named appalams. Lifted off her page:

I am writing this from the free internet terminals in Changi Airport. Check in was really smooth cos they had a special express lane for individual travellers. There were about 400 tour groups, all looking haggard, tired and carrying everything from rice cookers to small TVs.

In about 10 Mins we get to board the plane and then, the adventure begins!

catch u later!

Irate Mango Makkeh

My dear readers,

I must admit being a little confused at the understanding that some Indians have, with regards to their imaginary 'divine right' to bully hapless customer service personnel, especially if said customer personnel are Indian themselves.

Now I am not going to leave this statement hanging in the air like forgotten laundry, but rather highlight to you my encounter with one of these individuals. I think that my poor ears are bleeding from the encounter.

This lovely Gentleman calls me, and then proceeds to launch a complaint against one of my company's employees. Since my company is a big one, and I was hearing his complaint FOR THE FIRST TIME, I was naturally unable to give him a detailed outcome and action taken against said employee. When the conversation began, it was all polite and nice, when my name was revealed, the excrement well and truly hit the fan.

When I tried to highlight to Mr. Irate Gentleman that we will need some time to investigate the incident, he had the temerity to scream at me and accuse me of poor customer service. When his first tirade was over, I reiterated that we need to investigate the feedback. He then launches another tirade. His constant mention of my name, and my awareness of his name made the whole incident very unpleasant.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but as I perceive this whole matter, which after some time had degenerated into nasty name calling and threats, he was just excercising his 'divine right' to bully me because I was an Indian. After all, the phone conversation took a headlong plunge down the drain after I gave him my full name.

This is hardly the first time I have recieved rude behaviour from fellow Indian complainents once it is revealed that I'm Indian.

I think I missed the memo which said that Indians warrant special treatment by other Indians because we are all Indians. I'm all for celebrating identity, but this is taking things too far don't you think.

To my fellow Indians, you know that I am an advocate of gracious behaviour. Please extend this graciousness to phone conversations. We are not interested to hear how proficient you are at using the various permutations of the f-word and other vulgarities.

Somehow, using the term Mango Makkeh is not enough for Mr. Irate Gentleman.

So my fellow KLKlan members, what should we call rude, unreasonable makkehs?

Leave your suggestions in the comment column! My challenge to you is to not use ANY VULGARITIES! But you can call him a fruit if you so wish. However, the best suggestion will be printed in high gloss paper to be framed and hung in my cubicle.

As for me, I was going to think of him as a rat fink who crawled out of a sewer to make my life difficult, but that would be such an insult to the poor rats and other creatures like homeless heroin junkies, who consider the sewer system their humble abodes.

KLKalifornian Malaysians

Sheena Moorthy

3400 Poly Vista,
PO.BOX#1087,
CALPOLY, Pomona,91768,
CA U.S.A

2nd May 2007

Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
Prime Minister Of Malaysia
Prime Minister Department,
Malaysia

Ref.: Racial Insult - Formal Complaint

Datuk Sri, I, Sheena Moorthy, a 3rd year Biotech Malaysian student in CALPOLY would like to submit a formal complaint against our Minister of Science & Technology, YAB Jamaluddin Narjis.

I would like to bring to your attention the following incident which was totally uncalled for from the minister.

Date: 30th April 2007
Time: 6.30pm
Venue: Belacan Grill Malaysian Restaurant, Redondo Beach, Ca

Minister of Science, Dato Jamaluddin Narjis was here on an official visit.He wanted to meet some of the Malaysian students studying in California especially the ones from TPM Academy twinning programme.

During the 3 ½ hour session, he passed a few comments against Indians, focusing his attack on me and being one of the two Indians present there

Incident 1 - Each student had to briefly introduce themselves. When it came to my turn, while speaking he interrupted me and asked if I knew Samy Velu, because he knows him. I don't see any relevance in that and he mentioned it a few times for no apparent reason.

Incident 2 - He gave a speech regarding how agriculture started in Malaysia.He mentioned how the British invested in Malaysia and made farmers work. Due to the lack of work force, "buruh India" was brought in. While mentioning this, he looked at me saying that's how we get Indians in Malaysia.

Incident 3 - After saying he is going to get MARA to help the Bumiputra students, he looked at me and asked "How many Indians are here?, I don't know and don't keep track of number of Indian students here" so I mentioned that "In this room, there are two (pointing to my another Malaysian Indian friend, who is fair skinned) and J.Jarjis looked at him and asked "Oh. You are an Indian", which means you are an upper class Indian and she is the lower class one (pointing at me).

He went on to say that, "Oh, I am not going to help upper class Indians, I only help to lower class ones. They are the ones that need it'. I left the room feeling very insulted.Basically he judged me based on my skin color.Being a Minister and respectable figure, these statements that he mentioned was unethical and biased. This happened in front of a crowd about 100 people. Being a true Malaysian at heart, and being taught not to discriminate among races especially in Malaysia, I feel humiliated as well as insulted by these racial remarks.

I demand a public apology from him because he does not have a right to judge me nor pass any remarks to me.Also, I would greatly appreciate if you could kindly review his performance and take appropriate action to mitigate another unwanted racial remark, insults and shame to our country from this minister.

Thanking you in advance.

Sincerely,

Sheena Moorthy

Editor's Note: Picked up by Malaysian bloggers earlier, an example of the rage it induced back up the peninsular, HERE. Sometimes, things get taken a step too far. Layman maybe forgivable. Minister? Hell no!

a·pos·tle

Somehow or rather, the topic of "Responsible Blogging" and the call for a "Blogger's Code of Conduct" is hot in the current state of things. That this started because of an episode on Vasantham is highly unlikely. Let's just take it as, a lot of people have questions and some won't stop till they're answered. Attempting to be the last line warrior to defend why we do what we do, MystiKal lays the matter to rest. Div had her twenty cents worth, HERE. Lacking the way of the wordsmith, I weighed in HERE. For all known posts stemming from a televised debate on the responsibility in the hands of bloggers, do click HERE and have your fill.

Henceforth, there WILL be no more, explanatory posts as to why things are the way they are. For reference, refer to our KLKillahs Manifesto. Show deference if you'd like to.

We are not the norm.

A blog can be many things. It can be a personal journal like this one. Where i get to see my thoughts come out in words. A sort of vent. Maybe even to show off.. LOL.. we are all capable of that. But KLKillahs is another kind of blog. What it used to be may be questioned, but i believe we have a new calling. Something for the future. A voice if u must, accessible to all, interactive voice to almost everything pertaining to being Indian. Negative positive or simply which pappadam is crispiest at which tekka pukul mati makan restaurant. Why? Who cares why?! WHY NOT! i ask you.

We address a need for us Indians to look at ourselves, laugh at ourselves and think for ourselves. Albeit many of the issues at KLKillahs are smothered with dark humour. A dry thesis espousing all the fuck things that are wrong/right with us. Or simply regurgitating talking points is being... pedestrian. This blog i may accept as pedestrian. Its just another blog of another random fella who thinks the world of himself. Et Tu Selva etc.. But KLKillahs is different.

Its a couple of people from different walks of life that come together, give their take, their opinions, their spin on issues.. talking points and/or random silly, not so silly things that will put a smile on your face on a mundane day, spur you to do some research on some topic instead of bumming away watching sun TV, go to work/school/public toilet and think about how reading that post on our blog made u think differently and hopefully affected you positively.. you get my drift?

That is what we are trying to achieve. We are not even doing it from behind a veil of secrecy. That in itself is a form of us taking responsibility in the articles that we do. And we set guidelines, skirt the edges, maybe bend/ break/ lay-on-the-floor-and-spread the rules in the attempt to stress a point, evoke a reaction, bring about a change.

That's what KLK is about my friends. Change. We dare to question. There is no limit to question. The right to ask is universal. Whether we get a satisfactory answer or a reasonable one is another question totally. Even asking a question can come in many forms. When we ridicule something. Ask yourself, what is the point? Do you really think we have nothing better to do then clown around making fun of people? There is a point there is a motive. Even for the mundane. When we point out errors, when we bring out our point even if we show u a picture with no caption or further illustration whatsoever, it is a question. It is a move, an effort to bring about change. To improve in whatever way we can. There.. there is our disclaimer. We do it in whatever way we can. With whatever resources that we can make do with...

Far from perfection we would be. Living in our own turmoil we may be. Disillusioned with life also we could be. But when we load that blogger page and type in the title of the post that we want to put on KLKillahs, we assume a mantle. The mantle of thinking from the readers' point of view. How that reader would be affected, how would the person we're talking about be affected? How can you bring about a change on the person reading it? Will he/she have a better day? A snort of derision? A rush of righteous anger? A stir of controversy? We learn from every post we write. The reactions. the feedback, and whiny little people who cannot stand their flaws put under a microscope. I wouldn't like it too.. That's why i signed up.. If you can't beat them.. join them :)

If i could sum up what we do? In as little words as possible. I'd say.. We're people who dare laugh at ourselves. Laugh at our flaws. And write articles that makes your day a little brighter. a tad funnier or probably more interesting :D Even if it means giving you reasons not to send your teen daughters to parade for small time TV that wouldn't look good on a resume anyway.. =)

Now the worse thing that can happen is if ah_neh nudges me on MSN and say "deh? what makes you think all that crap applies to me?" [what i'm most likely to say: "how, amk, half hour, thanni?"]

So in that context kindly imagine all the 'We' in this post represent me and my Muse...

NLB's Letters from Grandma & Grandpa

National Library Board has launched this project called Letters From Grandma And Grandpa.

The project is to help record advice (can be about life, the future, lessons to remember) grandparents want to pass on to their grandchildren.

Tamil Murasu is working together with National Library Board to gather and publish the letters in Tamil.

This is open to all Grandparents, who are Singaporeans or Permanent Residents.

• Your letter has to be written in Tamil.
• You should submit your letter in either typewritten or handwritten form.
• Each letter should have approximately 500 to 1,000 words.
• Unselected letters would be archived.
• Letters are subjected to editing by the selection panel.

For more details, please contact us and we will tell you how to submit your letter. kelingkillah@gmail.com

de·bate

Something that brightened up my Monday.

This language debate needs a skilful moderator
By P N Balji, Editorial Director, TODAY Posted: 07 May 2007 1107 hrs

I have been listening in on a discussion taking place among a group of Indian Singaporeans ("We are Indian Singaporeans and our unifying language is Tamil") in the confines of the Net. They are mainly talking about the disappearance of the Tamil language on signages at a couple of public places.

One talked about how he complained to a government organisation which had missed using the language on a signboard when 12 other languages were there. The person at the other end had been apologetic and promised to get it done within two months. That caused another round of discussions on why it needed two months to make a change.

Another wrote about a sign at a public place that has Hindi, but not Tamil. And yet another complained that some government websites looking for global talent emphasise English and Chinese but put Tamil in the "others" category.

Then there was a posting on the need for an Indian Affairs Minister here, which sparked responses from a couple of supporters.

There are two issues here, one easy to deal with and the other a little tricky, touchy and so more difficult to handle.

Despite how cosmopolitan we may appear to be as a city, language can always creep in and become a spoiler.

The civil servants who deal with things like signages, brochures and advertisements need to understand the language sensitivities underpinning Singapore society.

And this just doesn't apply to the minorities.

Not many of us would have forgotten that during the dengue scare two years ago, official brochures were printed only in English with the other languages, including Chinese, being forgotten.

That was corrected immediately with the pamphlets being re-printed not only in Chinese, but also Malay and Tamil as well.

It looks like some of our government departments have not learned from that error.

The Civil Service, known for its efficiency and its responsiveness, must not allow missteps in language to crop up again. And when such missteps do happen, they should be put right quickly.

But how to deal with an issue like this, especially now that there is an enabler called the Internet?

Before you even get into that, you need to find out why groups like Indian Singaporeans feel the way they do. To be completely colour blind in Singapore is not possible, what with policies like race-based help (CDAC, Mendaki and Sinda) and race-based electoral boundaries (Group Representation Constituencies), race-based quotas for HDB flats and race-related questions in application forms.

But what has complicated the simmering racial pot for the Tamil Singaporeans, who form the majority of the Indians here, is the recent influx of North Indians — who mainly speak Hindi — into Singapore.

Some feel their minority status is being further eroded. To understand their anxiety, one needs to understand the language divisions in India.

Hindi is as foreign to the Tamils as, say, French is. And although Hindi is the official language in India, it is not recognised in the south of the country — especially in Tamil Nadu, where elections can be lost and won on playing the language card.

The discussion on the Net has only just started.

Before it gets out of hand, we need a greater sensitivity on the part of organisations that deal with the public often, as well as a skilful moderator who will be able to better understand what is troubling this group and engage them with trust and confidence.

The ombudsman should be independent-minded, respected in the community and, most important of all, be outside the government embrace.

This Balji dude got most of his points right. Except the part where he says the discussion on the Net has only just started. I reference MDA Xchange from our old kelingkillah blog. Come on, its being going on for ages already. [The exchange was lifted from exactly the same Yahoo group, Mr Balji is subscribed to. We is have our hands everywhere.]

Someone outside the governmental embrace to manage Indian affairs? That would be something to look out for. Our very own Samy Vellu in the making. He's technically part of the government in Malaysia but its not very difficult to mark out his fiefdom.

So are we going to see an Indian Affairs Minister? [We already have Yaacob Ibrahim sitting as Minister-in-charge of Muslim Affairs, though point noted, one's a religion, we're a community] Would he be drafted from the foreign talent program or will we see a true blue local makkal take it up?

We'll keep you updated.