Maamas in Denial

We often talk about racism and how we've been unfairly judged by the colour of our skin for as long as we could have been. Sadly though, i think that the fault doesn't always just lie with the nearsighted people of other races. In fact, I've come to know of people who belong to this breed i deem M.I.D (Maamas in Denial). Name has been masked to protect identity.

He says: i was quite surprised by the number of photos with indian girls [For the blurred: we figure this is about some girl he's checking out in Friendster]

KLKween says: why? are Indian girls meant to be alienated from society?

He says: hahaha no la

KLKween says: i think its highly disturbing that u keep making indian women the exception..as if chinese girls are the only ones allowed to be clubbing/partying or even living the high life..

He says: i didnt think she would be the type to have a best friend as indian la.. dont worry im not being racist really. fuck im indian.

KLKween says: glad u realised.

He says: really didnt mean anything..okay so what do u think of her

KLKween says: am i supposed to think any differently of her because her best friend is Indian? i know her from primary school..and thats the last i heard of her. not a great age to be making impressions. and she still looks the same as she did in Primary 3..sweet and nice.

He says: right okay.. haha.. dont be upset la!

KLKween says: about? the fact that you're the worst Indian i know? don't worry. that really doesn't upset me.but just for the record ,not all indians - are typical,beer guzzling maamas who sit down and rattle about tamil movies.many of them are actually pretty intellectual and make a lot more sense.

He says: Yes i know that :)

KLKween says: so perhaps its time to really open your eyes and look carefully. for all you know.. that might just be the reason why u keep seeing the BAD girls.cos you keep forgetting that sometimes you should stay a little closer to home..you speak with such condescension when addressing Indian women. I hope for you, you've not had any bad experiences with any Indian girls.. and even so don't make the hasty "Typical indian girl" stereotype. Because at the end of the day, it was an Indian woman who gave birth to you and probably an Indian woman who would sympathise with you when you're in the dumps. She may not be able to keep up with your high end life or wear your little hot shorts or live the whole fuck and throw life. But guess what? She's actually worth it.

He says: i've actually been told that and yes its probably never the same as being with someone of your own kind but i dont write them off..i dont mean to speak with condescension...im sorry if i gave u that impression....

I never understood why Indian women get written off by men. I've never seen as many Indian girls not liking Indian men as i have seen the other way round. Indian women are considered so exotic and beautiful to the likes of people in so many continents. Yet its so sad isn't it that our dark skin(most of us) and our Indian features and our other psychological aspects are simply shunned by our own men. I'll never understand this phenomenon.

But i leave you with a very apt song.

Yogi B and Natchatira - Indian Girls

The Indian Girl's Guide: Episode 1

Now that the Dhool controversies are over, I finally am willing to come out from behind my rock and actually start blogging for KLKillahs again.

Its tough enough being a woman, but God definitely made you out of steel if you’re Indian and woman. We weren’t born with handbooks on how to deal with the boys (with built-in sarakku radars) and kaypoh aunties at weddings who merely want to know if you made it to Medicine like their soda-patti kanaadi daughters [glasses with lenses resembling the bottom of soft drink bottles, old school like]. Fret not for the KLKween is here to solve your woes. The frustration is over. Battle the KLKs and do it with style.

There’s the other bigger issue of being an Indian girl – being called a “Doke”. I’ve tried my level best to find some kind of information as to which KLKockster came up with this term or how it could have possibly evolved to have denoted a slut. Unfortunately, its still a mystery. If there’s anyone out there who has a clue, please kindly get in touch with us. I’ve never quite understood this term or how a woman/girl becomes termed a “Doke”. I’ve been in the position many times before when people have very haphazardly spewed the word out at me or at other women. It is quite disturbing.

Are you a doke because you dance at clubs? Because you go to clubs? Because you’re friendly and you do smile at people without believing they could actually take that as some slut-tendency? It is at this juncture where society rears its ugly head. Ever wondered why there isn’t a male term for a slut? What about a guy who doesn’t quite think of the consequences and would bed anything that has two legs and walks [never mind the walk part, just the being alive part is fine]? Are we so hypocritical that we would go to any level to judge a person merely on the first impression we see? True enough, one might argue that this is prevalent in any society, but honestly speaking I have rarely heard of such a widely existing term as “Doke” in any of the other societies around us.

Would we ever be content with the characters of the women around us? If she’s too stuck up or refuses to smile at you, you would mutter, “Aishwarya Rai-nu periya nenappu”(She thinks she is Aishwarya Rai). If she’s friendly and smiles at you or even makes conversation with you, she immediately gets termed as being easy or being a slut. What does this mean? Should all women just lock themselves up in their rooms till they get married and then live vicariously through their husbands? Or does this mean war? Should we start terming overly friendly men as some kind of sleaze bags?

What is that we want in this society which apparently respects equality? Doesn’t equality imply some sort of equal respect devoted to people regardless of gender? Or are we still stuck in some sort of a caveman mentality where we want to marry a virgin but mess around with the rest of the girls you deem as easy? What shall we do ladies?

I say we fight back. Don’t take it lying down. Firstly, don’t make yourself the enemy. Women who cannot support women are traitors and hypocrites. Don’t sit back and laugh if someone were to term anyone else you know a “doke” for it doesn’t mean that just because they didn’t term you a “doke” that its okay. It doesn’t matter cos you’re a woman too. For the men, remember everytime you deem another woman a slut, you’re merely insulting someone who could have been your mother/sister/daughter or even wife.